Special bonus deleted title:
"I Still Know Kung Fu."

Quick spoiler-free review:

The movie is pretty damn cool, with action sequences that are better than almost any others I've ever seen and superior to the first. The movie also makes about as much sense as the first, and has about as many nonsense talking scenes.

***

SPOILERS BELOW

****

Okay, so what's up with the ending? I swear, I didn't realize I needed to have passed calculus to understand the Architect. I felt like I needed a dictionary and a graphing calculator to figure out what the hell he was talking about. Total nonsense. I feel roughly the same way about the Oracle scene, only there it was like some diatribe about free will and causality condensed into a five minute scene. Thank you, Wachowskis, but I forgot all my philosophy texts at home.

I was happy to see the Architect scene, though, because ever since I saw the first movie I'd wondered who built the Matrix. I assumed there was a human at the center of it all, and I envisioned a scene where Neo meets him, and it was a lot like the Architect scene. Very cool, even if it doesn't actually mean anything. I'd like the philosophy more if it had something to say rather than just appearing like it has something to say.

Also, apparently the Real World is also The Matrix? Is that what the ending is about? That's kind of lame, but we'll get to see how it pans out in the next movie.

What's better than one Agent Smith? 500 Agent Smiths. I'm ready to put that down as the best fight scene, ever. Just ruling beyond belief, and I had a huge smile on my face the whole time.

I'm not sure who my favorite character was this time around. Agent Smith, far and away the best character from the first movie, had stiff competition from the Keymaker, who just ruled the school. "I can't go back!" Excellent.

Morpheus + Katana + Truck = Rule. Really glad we got to see him show his stuff this time around, even if Neo the Idiot Manchild had to save him (again). So what are you saying, Wachowskis? The white man has to save the black man? RACISTS!

The entire chase that begins with them finding the Keymaker is so incredibly well done. I think the fight Neo has against the people in the lobby of the Merovingian's house goes on too long, but all the stuff in the freeway is amazing. The Twins were really cool villains, and seeing a 3-way battle between them, the agents and the humans was neat.

Captain Mifune is my favorite reference in the movie -- the name is a nod to Toshiro Mifune, who is probably the most famous Japanese actor of all time. The real Mifune starred in a ton of Akira Kurosawa's films, including Seven Samurai. I hope we get to see Captain Mifune bust some moves in Matrix III: Matrix With a Vengeance.

The instant that "Captain Soren" stood up to volunteer his services, I knew he was dead. Oh, look, some random character we haven't yet met is going to volunteer for a dangerous mission? I AM SURE HE WILL LIVE A LONG TIME!

Did we really need that rave/orgy scene? Just because all the characters in the movie are dressed as though they're in a bad techno music video doesn't mean the movie has to become one. But, then again, I've never been one to suggest movies have less sex and nudity, so there is that.

The whole concept of rogue computer programs is pretty cool.

I'm running out of stuff to say. I'll probably end up replying to this post. LET THE FANBOY (and girl) INTENSE GEEKERY MATCH BEGIN!

Stephen