There were some things in your post that don't surprise me and seem natural in a lot of ways. You are definitely around the time in your life where a lot of the things that you grew up with will be scrutinized and evaluated for you personally. Your world view is one of the biggest things that gets assessed during this period. Even though I disagree with your views on atheism, I would rather that you actively look at what you believe rather than passively letting it happen and giving it lip service. Most people don't really know what they believe and couldn't have a worthwhile "debate" about it if they wanted.

Even God would rather have you be passionate over being lukewarm. Revelation 3:15-16 says "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

It doesn't sound like you've come to this decision suddenly, either. That's also encouraging because you've probably been evaluating information as it comes to you and figuring out how it fits into the puzzle. Continue doing this and try very hard to avoid making the information fit your needs while avoiding what doesn't fit your needs. There are those from all beliefs that are guilty of only seeing what they want to see in the way they want to see it just as there are those who flip flop from one thing to another as each new bit to consider arrives. Both seem immature to me.

The western world views fall into Theism and Deism; Naturalism, Nihilism and Existentialism; and Pantheism. The Christian, Muslim, and Jew fall into Theism and the Atheist falls into Naturalism, Nihilism, or Existentialism. For someone to be a Theist, a level of faith is required and it sounds like enough has happened in your life for you to question and drop that faith and move to look for explanations of life outside the spiritual.

As Sam said, you will get lots of different ideas and viewpoints from people. I believe that it is all worthwhile even if it isn't all the truth. The things that you feel are bunk and dismiss will help form the whole.

Being a Christian myself hasn't meant that I stop questioning things. I do have faith because it makes sense to me and I have yet to find anything that makes more sense. And one of the reasons it makes so much sense to me is because, at its core, it is simple. So much pomp and circumstance and ceremony and requirements and expecatations and preconceived notions have been heaped on Christianity that it has become a distraction both inside and out. If you strip that all away, I see it as basic and revolutionary, something that everyone can access. Any barriers are man-made.

So, what's this mean for you? Well, keep asking questions and listen, like you have been doing. Figure it out for yourself but never stop evaluating where you are at. If something comes into conflict, figure out why? Is there a flaw in your belief or in the argument against it. If you can't find a flaw in either and they don't reconcile with each other, you probably need to ask more questions. It should never end, even if you don't fundamentally change your views.

I'm praying that you find the truth, not just what is true for you.

Ferrick