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Debunking the myth
Posted By: Howard, on host 216.80.144.194
Date: Wednesday, December 18, 2002, at 18:47:32

Two little boys were talking about Christmas and one of them said that Santa was a myth. The other one said no, that he wath not a myth, heth a mythter.

But that's not the myth that I'm talking about. I'm here to do away with The Fruitcake Myth.

You have heard about the people who opened a present and found a fruit cake from their neighbors and someone said, "Hey, isn't that the one we gave them last year?" Well, the myth is that nobody eats fruit cake. Also, according to the myth, fruitcake is not fit to eat, so no wonder nobody eats it.

I'm here to tell you that's bunk.
I will admit that mail-order fruitcake is useful only as a door stop. Store-bought fruit cake is preservative-flavored and unfit for human consumption. Fund-raiser fruit cake is a heavy, nasty, barf-inducing brick.

But. . . drum roll, please. . . homemade fruit cake is good to eat. Great, even. It's full of nuts and fruity bits surrounded by a light brown cake that slices normally. No chopping necessary. No gummy texture. No gag reflex. Homemade fruitcake is good to eat. Don't age it. Don't soak it in booze. Don't freeze it. Don't let it sit around for days drying out. It's good hot from the oven or even cold the next day. It goes great with eggnog, cranberry juice, coffee or ice cream. Don't try to eat it after a whopping big meal. Even chocolate cake would fail that test. Have your homemade fruit cake as a snack, with a little apple cider. You'll be glad you did.
Howard

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