I'm pretty sure we've discussed this here before, but Stephen and I were talking about it this morning and I went out to eat tonight, so I'm going to rant anyway.

For those of you lucky enough to come from a country where tipping isn't mandatory, here's the deal. You go to a restaurant, the waiter or waitress smiles, takes your order, brings you your food, and for this you leave them 15%-20% of the total bill as a "tip". This is, of course, extra money on top of what you're already paying for the food.

The rationale behind this (at least as far as I know) is that it's legal here in the US for restaurants to pay waitpeople less than the Federal minimum wage, because they're expected to make up the difference in tips. My question is, WHY are they expected to make it up in tips? Who thought up this system? Why do *I* have to supplement their income? Don't I already pay the restaurant enough for their overpriced food? Why do I also have to directly pay for their help, too?

Tipping, as I understand it, used to be a voluntary thing. You left a tip if the service was exceptional. If it was only adequate, no tip. Now, however, tipping is basically mandatory. Some places, if you have a party over a certain number of people (usually somewhere between 6 and 10), the tip is actually added onto your bill, taking away your choice to tip or not to tip. What's up with *that*? Now tipping is more of a service charge than a reward for great service.

But really, what has a waiter done for me that the guy at McDonalds hasn't done? A waiter takes my order. The guy at McDonalds does that. The waiter takes my money and gives me change. The guy at McDonalds does that. The waiter brings me my food. The guy at McDonalds does that. The only difference I can see is that the guy at McDonalds doesn't have to walk as far as the waiter does. So basically, I'm giving my waiter 15% because he walks 40 feet whereas the guy at McDonalds only has to turn around and walk a few steps to get my food and bring it over to me. That's nuts. As far as I'm concerned, the waiter is employed by the restaurant for the purpose of taking my order, bringing me my food, and ringing up my bill and bringing me my change. The restaurant should therefore pay this person their salary--it shouldn't fall to me to pick up the slack because for some odd reason the restaurant is allowed to pay them peanuts.

If I *want* to give a tip for exceptional service, that should be my prerogative. But to be honest, what more *is* there to the job of waiter than what I've described? What are they going to do, give me a massage while I eat? That might be worth a tip. I don't really know how to rate "exceptional" service. Some people like a perky person who talks to them and stuff. Personally, I really don't like that. I just want you to take my order and bring me my food. I don't really feel like making friends, I just want to eat. Perhaps in the fancier restaurants, there's more to the job, such as recommending a good wine or being able to provide an informed opinion on the quality of each dish. But honestly, when I go to Chilis, I know what each dish is and I don't need to ask for an opinion. Bring me my food and my change and don't screw anything up, and you've completed your obligation.

It's not just waiters you're supposed to tip, either. Delivery people get tips. Now, when the weather is bad or it's really cold out or something, I don't mind giving the pizza guy a good tip. But again, it's generally not seen as a choice--tipping is mandatory. The last time I got pizza from Dominos, I paid with a credit card. The delivery guy handed the slip to me and said "I need you to fill out these three lines." The three lines were "Tip" "Total" and "Signature". So he definitely made sure I knew I was supposed to write something in for a tip. Again, I think the company he works for ought to be paying him, not me. Dominos provides a service--namely, delivery. They don't charge for the service, but it's assumed that I'm going to tip the delivery guy anyway. Personally, I'd rather pay a delivery charge and not have to tip the guy than have to feel like I'm giving a smelly, surly kid three bucks to walk to my door and hand me my pizza. I know delivery people get paid a salary, plus mileage if they use their own car. Why do I need to also supplement that income with a mandatory tip? I provide a valuable service at work too, but nobody tips *me*.

It gets worse. "Tip jars" have started showing up at the counter of many eating establishments where your food is not brought to you, you pick it up at the counter. What am I tipping for here? Basically, this is EXACTLY the same job as the guy at McDonalds mentioned earlier. Why do I need to tip THESE people? I've even been to a place where whenever someone put money in the tip jar, the person at the register would shoult "WE HAVE A TIPPER!" and everyone in the back would shout "WOOHOO!!" and make a big scene. It was the most amazingly ANNOYING thing ever. And worst of all, it shamed people into tipping people who absolutely do not deserve a tip--because heaven forbid you are the first to walk away from the counter without the shouted "WE HAVE A TIPPER!" echoing in the background.

Then we have buffets. I went to a buffet tonight. Do you tip at a buffet? It doesn't seem like you should. You pay your money, you get your own plate, you fill it up with food, and you eat. The only thing anybody does for you is maybe get you a drink (at this place, they got me my first glass, but then I got my own refills) and they bus your table. And yet, still I feel obligated to tip. I was actually compsing this post in my head while I was there (including this part about composing it in my head while I was at the restaurant, which was really surreal) so I was very conscious of the situation and trying to figure out what to do. My rule of thumb at a buffet is usually this: If they take my empty plate away when I go up for more, and if they keep my drink filled, they get a buck. Now, at this place, I was getting my own refills anyway. And they were a little lax about taking away my plate--one time I had to stare at my own dirty plate for several minutes while eating the next plate of food before it was taken away. But the bus boy actually asked me if I'd like to watch TV (they had a few TVs in the place but none of them were in my line of sight) and talked to me a bit about how much he liked Michael Jordan, except now he's old and not as exciting and he really liked MJ back in 97-98 better. Normally, I don't like this, but this guy somehow seemed genuine. Plus, he was one of those Chinese imports brought over specifically to man Chinese restaurants, and for whatever reason I always like those guys (besides, some of the women are really cute). So in the end, I left him the buck anyway.

Of course, did he get the dollar? Or did the woman who brought me my first glass of Diet Coke (who I then never saw again) come and take it? Or maybe the guy who picked out my table and then dissappeared? I don't know. That's why tipping at a buffet is so stupid anyway. WHICH person are you tipping?

Anyway, I'd like to hear how people feel about tipping. Personally, I think a person is employed by their employer, and their employer ought to be responsible for their salary. A bellhop has one job--to take my bags to my room. Why should I tip him for doing his job? I don't think I should have to tip someone who is only doing what they're supposed to be doing anyway. Maybe if my waitress gave me a kiss I'd feel better about leaving a tip--but only if she was really cute.

-- Dave