> For those of you lucky enough to come from a country where tipping isn't mandatory,

There is such a country? Is it France, or do I actually want to go there?

> Tipping, as I understand it, used to be a voluntary thing. You left a tip if the service was exceptional. If it was only adequate, no tip. Now, however, tipping is basically mandatory. Some places, if you have a party over a certain number of people (usually somewhere between 6 and 10), the tip is actually added onto your bill, taking away your choice to tip or not to tip. What's up with *that*? Now tipping is more of a service charge than a reward for great service.

I agree that this is very stupid. The worst aspect of it for me is that it messes up my thinking when I am planning a meal -- I find out what things cost wherever I am going, and then forget to add 15-20%. That's pretty masty when one is on a tight budget.

> If I *want* to give a tip for exceptional service, that should be my prerogative. But to be honest, what more *is* there to the job of waiter than what I've described? What are they going to do, give me a massage while I eat? That might be worth a tip. I don't really know how to rate "exceptional" service. Some people like a perky person who talks to them and stuff. Personally, I really don't like that. I just want you to take my order and bring me my food. I don't really feel like making friends, I just want to eat. Perhaps in the fancier restaurants, there's more to the job, such as recommending a good wine or being able to provide an informed opinion on the quality of each dish. But honestly, when I go to Chilis, I know what each dish is and I don't need to ask for an opinion. Bring me my food and my change and don't screw anything up, and you've completed your obligation.

I agree very strongly with this part. I think tipping is reasonable for exceptional service, but I don't want to tip when I get a dark brown shoe leather "medium rare" steak or when my order takes an hour. Ironically, though, the one time in recent memory that I have felt good about tipping someone was when I had a waiter who messed up my meal six ways from center, but bent over backwards to make things right, including giving me two different menu items for free. I gave him something like 20-25% on a big (three people at a relatively pricey joint) bill.

> It's not just waiters you're supposed to tip, either. Delivery people get tips. Now, when the weather is bad or it's really cold out or something, I don't mind giving the pizza guy a good tip. But again, it's generally not seen as a choice--tipping is mandatory. The last time I got pizza from Dominos, I paid with a credit card. The delivery guy handed the slip to me and said "I need you to fill out these three lines." The three lines were "Tip" "Total" and "Signature". So he definitely made sure I knew I was supposed to write something in for a tip. Again, I think the company he works for ought to be paying him, not me. Dominos provides a service--namely, delivery. They don't charge for the service, but it's assumed that I'm going to tip the delivery guy anyway. Personally, I'd rather pay a delivery charge and not have to tip the guy than have to feel like I'm giving a smelly, surly kid three bucks to walk to my door and hand me my pizza. I know delivery people get paid a salary, plus mileage if they use their own car. Why do I need to also supplement that income with a mandatory tip? I provide a valuable service at work too, but nobody tips *me*.

For some reason, this one doesn't bother me as much -- maybe because the tip amount doesn't seem to be as fixed here in Canada. I have a standard $2 tip for pizza delivery unless the guy is really good (and I have seen a few that were). I think part of my rationale for this is that I live in Canada, where winter rules the nation for sixteen months of the year and the temperature goes above -40 for a total of three and a half hours in the middle of July. When I'm ordering pizza, it is often because it's far too cold for me to even want to go grocery shopping, and I feel for these minimum wage guys who are standing outside my house in a sissy company uniform with no wind protection waiting for me to hear the doorbell and get off my lazy rear.

> It gets worse. "Tip jars" have started showing up at the counter of many eating establishments where your food is not brought to you, you pick it up at the counter. What am I tipping for here? Basically, this is EXACTLY the same job as the guy at McDonalds mentioned earlier. Why do I need to tip THESE people? I've even been to a place where whenever someone put money in the tip jar, the person at the register would shoult "WE HAVE A TIPPER!" and everyone in the back would shout "WOOHOO!!" and make a big scene. It was the most amazingly ANNOYING thing ever. And worst of all, it shamed people into tipping people who absolutely do not deserve a tip--because heaven forbid you are the first to walk away from the counter without the shouted "WE HAVE A TIPPER!" echoing in the background.

Tip jars annoy me, and I never use them. If I ever encountered a situation like the one you just described, I would be very unlikely to EVER go back, and would warn all my friends against the place.

> Then we have buffets. I went to a buffet tonight. Do you tip at a buffet? It doesn't seem like you should. You pay your money, you get your own plate, you fill it up with food, and you eat. The only thing anybody does for you is maybe get you a drink (at this place, they got me my first glass, but then I got my own refills) and they bus your table. And yet, still I feel obligated to tip. I was actually compsing this post in my head while I was there (including this part about composing it in my head while I was at the restaurant, which was really surreal) so I was very conscious of the situation and trying to figure out what to do. My rule of thumb at a buffet is usually this: If they take my empty plate away when I go up for more, and if they keep my drink filled, they get a buck. Now, at this place, I was getting my own refills anyway. And they were a little lax about taking away my plate--one time I had to stare at my own dirty plate for several minutes while eating the next plate of food before it was taken away. But the bus boy actually asked me if I'd like to watch TV (they had a few TVs in the place but none of them were in my line of sight) and talked to me a bit about how much he liked Michael Jordan, except now he's old and not as exciting and he really liked MJ back in 97-98 better. Normally, I don't like this, but this guy somehow seemed genuine. Plus, he was one of those Chinese imports brought over specifically to man Chinese restaurants, and for whatever reason I always like those guys (besides, some of the women are really cute). So in the end, I left him the buck anyway.

I rarely go to buffets, and I didn't realize that there was any real method of tipping at one, so I have never worried about that situation. I do know what you mean about the genuine waiter, though -- I am like you in that I don't much like the meaningless chatter from my server, but genuine conversation (and the difference is usually obvious) makes me a lot more willing to part with my hard-earned cash.

> Anyway, I'd like to hear how people feel about tipping. Personally, I think a person is employed by their employer, and their employer ought to be responsible for their salary. A bellhop has one job--to take my bags to my room. Why should I tip him for doing his job? I don't think I should have to tip someone who is only doing what they're supposed to be doing anyway.

I agree that people should just get paid what is fair, and tips should go back to being mandatory. I'm OK with my meals being more expensive -- I would certainly appreciate having it laid out clearly what my meal is going to cost me. I prefer hidden taxes, as it were. I still wouldn't mind leaving something extra for a good server even if the food were more expensive.

> Maybe if my waitress gave me a kiss I'd feel better about leaving a tip--but only if she was really cute.

I don't think I would put that qualifier on there. Maybe I'm just more lonely.

> -- Dave

Don Monkey