> If I *want* to give a tip for exceptional service, that should be my prerogative. But to be honest, what more *is* there to the job of waiter than what I've described? . . . I don't really know how to rate "exceptional" service.

I'd call "be polite, take my order, bring me my food" functional service. On a few occasions, Leen and I have had truly amazing service that goes beyond function and into something of an art form.

One thing I appreciate is being attended to without looking like I'm being attended to. I've had the occasional server bring me a refill of my drink the moment my current one gets down to the quarter mark or so without asking me first and without even making herself conspicuous. Leen and I went out to Chili's one time, and we were talking, and suddenly I had a full glass of Pepsi -- I never asked for it, and neither one of us ever saw her show up with it. For the rest of the evening, she continued to wait on us hand and foot, but I honestly don't even remember what she looked like, because she was practically invisible. We left her a hefty tip.

On our honeymoon, we stayed a couple nights at the Balsam's, which is a hotel/resort in the middle of nothing but the beautiful and practically unpopulated mountains and forests of far northern New Hampshire. It's the most upscale place I've ever been, and we were only there a couple of nights. There, Leen and I learned just how "excellent" food service can be. Meals are included in the nightly bill, so you just show up there, sit in your usual table, and a waiting person magically shows up out of nowhere, takes your entree orders, and passes them along. The entrees are cooked to order, but the rest is a multiple-course buffet, where you can grab whatever you want, whenever you want. Consequently, there tends to be a lot of plates and dishes and silverware that get used in just one meal.

But this is how it went. We had full water glasses the entire time, no matter how much I drank. The second my water glass reached half full, it was refilled. The *instant* I finished with a plate or bowl, it disappeared. Without fail. By the end of our stay, Leen and I were making a game out of timing them and jokingly pooh-poohing the poor service when an empty bowl remained on the table for longer than like 30 seconds. Our server even had this hilarious little portable vacuum for scooping up crumbs that had spilled onto the tablecloth. But, yet -- here's the thing -- never ONCE did we ever get the feeling that anybody was hovering over us, examining us as we ate. He always seemed to be attending other tables or other chores, but he showed up by magic the instant there was something to do at our table. By the time our visit was over, I wanted to pay this guy's salary all by myself.

THAT is excellent service.

But to get to the rest of your post, I pretty much agree. I like tipping at restaurants, because I enjoy great service at restaurants, and I like that the system provides an incentive for servers to give it. But I do think that the restaurants should pay full salaries, because tips should be bonuses, not base pay. I do feel free not to tip if the service is bad, however.

Delivery persons, bellhops, valets, cab drivers, barbers/hairdressers should not be tipped. I do anyway (well, I've never had the services of a valet and only had the services of a bellhop at the Balsam's), but I resent the necessity. I NEVER put tips in the tip jars at restaurants where you order at the counter, and I never will.