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Re: Adventures with Sam in Canada
Posted By: Markus K., on host 207.35.144.90
Date: Wednesday, July 12, 2000, at 14:26:18
In Reply To: Adventures with Sam in Canada posted by Sam on Monday, July 10, 2000, at 12:21:50:

As a Canadian, I thought I might say a few things:

About the exit-signs thing, that differs through the rest of Canada. Where I come from (Southern Ontario), the exit signs have NO numbers on them - they may say, for example, "Dudley Drive - Exit", and you'd better know what's on Dudley Drive.

The traffic signals - we just have normal ones in Ontario here.

The funny sharp-turn signs and the "Arret/Stop" - again, only in Quebec.

The French-language sign bias - actually, this is a VERY hot issue of controversy. Quebec premier Lucien Bouchard is enforcing these laws - yes, LAWS - very heavily, and if the stores don't comply they are closed and their owners prosecuted.

Quebec is almost like a foreign country to the rest of Canada; they speak a different language (yes, we are taught French up to high school, but most adults have forgotten it), they have different signs, they have different movies - it IS a foreign country. Us Ontarians are very snooty, we like to say that WE are the real, Union Jack-waving Canada. We're liberal Anglicans (a Queen-worshipping British religion that became Episcopalianism in the US) and hate the Americans.

That's another bone of contention. Canadians are raised to think that Americans are violent scum. As the only American in my school, I am constantly hit with insults such as "Americans suck" and "Americans are dumb". In fact, the only real occurrence of patriotism in Canada came about from an ad for Molson's Beer a few months ago, wherein "Joe Canadian" ranted about Canada ("I sit on chesterfields, not sofas! I have serviettes, not napkins! It's ZEE, not ZED! And about, not aboot!") Most Canadians (Ontarians, at least - I have a friend from Alberta who tells me that compared to Albertans, Ontarians are jerks)are racists, but against people who are essentially the same. We discriminate, as a group, against the Americans in ways that an American wouldn't notice. We also discriminate against the French, in the same way. We are "closet racists", bigots that hide it. In some ways, that's worse.

Just to get a little less serious, there are a few differences that I noticed on my recent trip to the States. My first sight of a "Walk/Don't Walk" sign was a treat, as was my first meal in Denny's.

Oh, that reminds me: You say you stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts? Are you MAD? There are only two donut shops that Canadians visit: Tim Horton's and Tim Horton's. Possibly the most Canadian thing around, Tim Horton's is this GIANT national donut-shop chain (they're also becoming famous for their coffee). If a town doesn't have a Tim Horton's, it's nothing. And there is NO competition. I'm surprised you could even find a Dunkin' Donuts - of course, you were in Quebec. That changes everything. But if that was Ontario, even if you could find a Dunkin' Donuts, you would be beaten to death by a screaming lynch mob (you wouldn't be shot - we have gun-control here in Canada), and your car would be sold for parts.

Oh, and bad drivers like that? He had probably driven on the 401 (a giant highway that goes through most of Ontario) near Toronto. Serious gridlock. He would do ANYTHING to get into an open space - on the 401, there are no open spaces. Or, maybe he was just doing that because you had American plates. I wouldn't be surprised.

Oh, I forgot - yes, we do have those Pictionary signs, only ours are more vague. (The "bump" sign is three triangles next to each other.)

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