> As a Canadian, I thought I might say a few things: [snip]
>
>
> The traffic signals - we just have normal ones in Ontario here.

Are you *sure* about that?


> The funny sharp-turn signs and the "Arret/Stop" - again, only in Quebec.

No, I've seen "Arrêt" stop-signs in Ottawa, too. And in many other places in Ontario. As well as Ontarians who can only speak French. Those funny "sharp turn" signs that Sam described with red and white colours are NOT the normal warning signs for "Sharp curve up ahead", which are always yellow and black. From the colours, he must have been confusing "Obligatory right/left turn from this lane" with the "Sharp curve ahead" signs.


> The French-language sign bias - actually, this is a VERY hot issue of controversy. Quebec premier Lucien Bouchard is enforcing these laws - yes, LAWS - very heavily, and if the stores don't comply they are closed and their owners prosecuted.

Yes, Quebec has LAWS against usage of English in public places, and it's a very sore point amongst unilingual anglophone Quebecers. However, I wouldn't be so quick to finger premier Lucien Bouchard as the most odious culprit in this matter. Bouchard didn't develop a reputation in Quebec for being as cannily charismatic a politician that he is, if he didn't know when to keep his lip zipped on hot-button issues. I might note his wife is an American from California, and he's sent his own children to private English schools. I'd guess the the ardent French-language supporter you're probably thinking of the former Cultural Affairs minister, Louise Beaudoin (see http://www.aq.qc.ca/English/pr45.htm )... as well as the four (count 'em, 4) anonymous OLF tipsters who work overtime making everyone miserable. These 4 are civilians, and *they're* the ones keeping the Office de la langue française busy, chasing hapless store merchants who've put up signs where English is too "prominent" compared to French. So the radicals who are the cause of the store prosecutions are not government officials -- but they ARE the insecure types who rallied for the stupid laws in the first place.


> Quebec is almost like a foreign country to the rest of Canada; they speak a different language (yes, we are taught French up to high school, but most adults have forgotten it), they have different signs, they have different movies - it IS a foreign country.

Ha ha. The formal French that *Quebecers* are taught in school isn't the French spoken in the streets, either. It's a totally different slang dialect called "Joual". Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau had the dapper ability to speak formal French at high-society affairs... and the colloquial slang for relaxing with friends in the local bar.


> Us Ontarians are very snooty, we like to say that WE are the real, Union Jack-waving Canada. We're liberal Anglicans (a Queen-worshipping British religion that became Episcopalianism in the US) and hate the Americans.

Helloooooo? I'm an Anglican, not that that name really means anything. Describing us a "Queen-worshipping British religion that hates Americans" certainly would be news in my parish. I never realized I've been baptized into idolatry, anyway. Heh.

You know, I once wrote that I didn't think "Canadian Rednecks" actually existed; I suggested it was humour. But your (biting) commentary may be just enough to suggest otherwise.


> That's another bone of contention. Canadians are raised to think that Americans are violent scum. As the only American in my school, I am constantly hit with insults such as "Americans suck" and "Americans are dumb".

Non sequitur. What's up here. I thought you said -- right at the beginning -- that you were a Canadian, not American...


> In fact, the only real occurrence of patriotism in Canada came about from an ad for Molson's Beer a few months ago, wherein "Joe Canadian" ranted about Canada ("I sit on chesterfields, not sofas! I have serviettes, not napkins! It's ZEE, not ZED! And about, not aboot!") Most Canadians (Ontarians, at least - I have a friend from Alberta who tells me that compared to Albertans, Ontarians are jerks)are racists, but against people who are essentially the same. We discriminate, as a group, against the Americans in ways that an American wouldn't notice. We also discriminate against the French, in the same way. We are "closet racists", bigots that hide it. In some ways, that's worse.

The more I talk to people who live in places where the population is uniformly homogenous (i.e., practically 100% Caucasian), the more I'm surprised by the amount on intolerance and closet bigotry they display. Where I live, I can easily think of friends, neighbours, acquaintances, and co-workers who were born in 11 different countries... and whom I interact with on a regular basis. In Montreal, who's to discrimate against, when *everyone's* different? (Oh yeah, against those people who can only speak English, heh.)


> Just to get a little less serious, there are a few differences that I noticed on my recent trip to the States. My first sight of a "Walk/Don't Walk" sign was a treat, as was my first meal in Denny's.

Gah. How can you say that going to Denny's was a TREAT? A recent issue of Consumer Reports for the U.S. gave it poor grades for food, and I agree. And just what's objectionable with the very clear pictograms for Walk/Don't Walk signals, which even young children can understand?


> Oh, that reminds me: You say you stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts? Are you MAD? There are only two donut shops that Canadians visit: Tim Horton's and Tim Horton's. Possibly the most Canadian thing around, Tim Horton's is this GIANT national donut-shop chain (they're also becoming famous for their coffee). If a town doesn't have a Tim Horton's, it's nothing. And there is NO competition. I'm surprised you could even find a Dunkin' Donuts - of course, you were in Quebec. That changes everything. But if that was Ontario, even if you could find a Dunkin' Donuts, you would be beaten to death by a screaming lynch mob (you wouldn't be shot - we have gun-control here in Canada), and your car would be sold for parts.
>

In Quebec the big donut/coffeeshop franchise chains are: A.L. Van Houtte, Second Cup, Tim Horton's, and Dunkin' Donuts. Starbucks is also moving into the field. The stuff that A.L. Van Houtte has to offer just blows Tim Horton's away, totally.


> Oh, and bad drivers like that? He had probably driven on the 401 (a giant highway that goes through most of Ontario) near Toronto. Serious gridlock. He would do ANYTHING to get into an open space - on the 401, there are no open spaces. Or, maybe he was just doing that because you had American plates. I wouldn't be surprised.

Gridlock, right. But that's nothing. Try driving the death-defying 417 from Ottawa to Montreal sometime in less than ideal conditions. The last time we drove that way, there was a light snowstorm. After a while, I gave up counting how many cars had landed in the ditch on both sides (more than 17). It's not the highway surface or the way its banked that's the problem; it's the high winds along that route.