This post has no point except to state what's going on at the moment for me. I guess it's a rant. Don't read it if you don't like rants.

I've arrived at one of those "big decision" moments; I probably won't be here as much after next week. (It won't be permanent. You can't get rid of me that easily.)

My job ends next week and I've spent the last few weeks wondering what to do next. I've been lucky enough to reach 30 *and* the top tax bracket without ever working in a cubicle or having a job where I had to wear shoes if I didn't want to. However, I knew this couldn't last forever, and it hasn't.

Now, I have what looks like an offer: it's a senior position with a big company and good money. But it's boring boring BORING work in a HIDEOUS office environment, which I imagine would kill me in about four seconds flat, even if having to dress up and drive in rush hour traffic didn't do it first. Everything I was brought up to believe says "This is a good job. Don't throw away security when it's handed to you on a plate." At the same time, I envisage myself going from one "good job" to another forever, finding out every single time how much those "good employers" really care about you as soon as it doesn't suit their purposes anymore. Wasting every daylight hour working for other people, for no reason except a paycheck, when there's no time left in your life to spend it on anything fun.

This is the alternative. If I find a job as a deckhand on a charter boat or a ferry, after a year I will have enough logged sea time to get my commercial captain's license. Then, if I still want to, I can take out a big bank loan, buy a luxury yacht (expensive, yes, but maybe half what you'd pay for a small home in a bad suburb) and run tourist charters. Self-employment and a lifestyle, in exchange for just one year on minimum wage.

Today I had my third interview with the big company which wants to hire me (yes, three interviews before they even make a formal offer) and the future I saw there depressed me so much I finally made the decision. I spent the rest of the day finding the contact details for darn near every commercial vessel in a two hundred mile radius and contacting each one personally to ask about work. I spammed the whole freaking WORLD. I must have made fifty phone calls and emailed two hundred people.

Would you BELIEVE it, I already have four replies in my in-box from owners of boats and every single one of them wants to meet me and "discuss it further". I can't wait until tomorrow to see how many more replies come in.

It seems so obvious that this is the best option, I don't even know why I'm so stressed about making this decision. But I am. The idea of taking a corporate job freaks me out, and the idea of *not* taking a corporate job freaks me out too. I guess it's just a bit scary making these major direction changes.

I didn't really post this to ask for advice or opinions, although both are welcome. I'm not sure why I *did* post this.

Brunnen-"so, um, yeah."G