So I tried to give blood today. A local brewery was offering a "give a pint, get a pint" deal. I don't drink, but even so this strikes me as a hilariously bad idea.

At any rate, they turned me down. Why? Because I have too much British on me.

Ok, so I'm just joshing with my friends over the pond. No, actually the reason is because I have Mad Cow Disease.

I was reading through the long list of things they want you to check before giving blood. Please don't donate blood if you have a cold. Please don't donate blood if you've had hepatitus since age 11. Please don't donate blood if you have had cancer in the last five years. Please don't donate blood if you have ever had cancer treated with chemotherapy.

Then I get to the end. Please don't donate blood if you have lived for 3 months+ in the UK (cumulative) since January 1, 1980, or have ever had a blood transfusion in the UK. Whoa.

Last time I gave blood was in college, and that definitely wasn't something they checked for, so I asked what it was about, and the lady thought it was most likely about Mad Cow Disease. Makes sense, because they didn't know about that back then.

So I went home. Probably some poor sod is going to die because England made me impure.

Seriously, this strikes me as the stupidest thing of all time. The furor over Mad Cow Disease involved some of the most useless medical paranoia in recent memory. Meanwhile, there were no questions about possible exposure to SARS, which was, while still an overhyped threat, much more significant. Then again, SARS isn't a slow-acting virus like mad cow disease, so maybe that explains why they didn't ask about it.