I am seriously afraid of life. I'm only 21, but I fear spending the rest of my life alone. I always believed I would find that "special guy" during my time in college. With only one year left to go, I have a feeling I will not be finding him any time soon. Being alone is something I really do not like, so I am glad I have a roommate. My ex-boyfriend (not the last one, but the one before him) has also been a big help in making me not feel lonely, but I know we won't get married or be anything more than friends. I am determined to raise my children Jewish, which greatly reduces the amount of dateable guys, especially in the small town where I attend school.

I have heard enough of the "you'll find someone evenutally" and the "there's a guy out there waiting for you" from people, but why is it so hard to believe? I've been hurt by friends and boyfriends so much in the past, that I think I'm starting to lose my faith in God. If I'm a good person, why do I seem to get trashed on repeatedly? It's just not fair... Please, don't respond with pity for me.



Sil"sigh"vercup