> I am seriously afraid of life. I'm only 21, but I fear spending the rest of my life alone. I always believed I would find that "special guy" during my time in college. With only one year left to go, I have a feeling I will not be finding him any time soon.

The feeling sounds familiar, if not the exact circumstances. Being shy and a non-risk-taker, I never even went on a date until I was 21. Given my track record, I always assumed that I probably wouldn't be married before age 30, or possibly ever. That *sucked* to think about.

Well, I ended up finding my wife-to-be at seminary, which is by no means a sure thing since the typical male-female ratio at evangelical seminaries is somewhere in the neighborhood of 80/20. At age 24, lo and behold I was walking down the aisle, fully seven years ahead of my most optimistic schedule.

This is simply to say that you never can tell what will happen or when you may meet a good future spouse. As for the particular difficulties of your situation, Brunnen-G had some good things to say, if you haven't already read her post. To her thoughts I would only add, there aren't many things more important or fulfilling than marriage, but there are some. Cultivate the happiness you have in yourself as an individual and it will make you a better, stronger marriage partner when the time comes. Above all, don't let go of God, who loves and understands you completely -- something even a husband can't do.