> I am seriously afraid of life. I'm only 21, but I fear spending the rest of my life alone. I always believed I would find that "special guy" during my time in college. With only one year left to go, I have a feeling I will not be finding him any time soon. Being alone is something I really do not like, so I am glad I have a roommate. My ex-boyfriend (not the last one, but the one before him) has also been a big help in making me not feel lonely, but I know we won't get married or be anything more than friends. I am determined to raise my children Jewish, which greatly reduces the amount of dateable guys, especially in the small town where I attend school.
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> I have heard enough of the "you'll find someone evenutally" and the "there's a guy out there waiting for you" from people, but why is it so hard to believe? I've been hurt by friends and boyfriends so much in the past, that I think I'm starting to lose my faith in God. If I'm a good person, why do I seem to get trashed on repeatedly? It's just not fair... Please, don't respond with pity for me.
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> Sil"sigh"vercup

Advice to the lovelorn is not my department, but I couldn't pass this one up. Quit trying so hard and consentrate on school. As soon as you graduate, you will move into a whole new environment with a new bunch of people. Move into a Jewish neighborhood to improve your chances, and when you are looking for employment, consider Jewish employers. Get involved in some kind of club. Play in an orchestra. Do volunteer work. Get into collecting and join a related organization. Go places. I knew a guy who met his wife in a hole in the ground. They were on an archeological dig. At your age, I thought I was looking at life as a batchelor, but I've been married almost 47 years now. It will happen.
Howard