> > In fact, I don't think you should class American English as English at all.
>
> The King James Bible, the works of Shakespeare, and the works of John Milton are most often cited as the quintessential works in the English language. They were written around the time it is often said English was at the height of its development as a language.
>
> American English is more akin to the English found in these quintessential works than modern British English is. (I'm also told that the American accent is more similar to that spoken in Shakespeare's day, too, but I'm doubtful about how anyone would know.) Somewhere, you guys got lost, but because you're still occupying the British Isles and the "English" moniker, everyone mistakenly assumes your claim on the language is authoritative.
>
> S "shamelessly and quite gratuitously escalating the rivalry" am

AAAAARGH!!! It IS authorative!

I have heard in the past some Americans saying "If it weren't for us you'd be speaking English by now." Remember this - If it weren't for us Brits, you'd probably be speaking SPANISH by now...

I must admit that there are some good things about the American language (I'm still refusing to add the English suffix) - the way you get rid of un-necessary U's such as color (or colour). I am fed up with the way you have totally different names for different objects - take the humble tap, for instance. Faucet? What a silly name.

Chr"American Football? Where's the foot?"ico