One wouldn't think a divergence from the lame Friday formula would be unwelcome, but Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday manages to come up with something worse. After this, I found myself looking back upon the eight like episodes of drudgery that preceded with a certain nostalgic fondness. Mere words do not do the pain this movie induces justice. Strong adjectives and clever metaphors are not enough. No, to convey how excruciating watching this wearily wayward refuse is, one would need a medium in which a reviewer such as me could incorporate wild facial expressions, audible groans of pain, and exaggerated pantomimes of suicide into the review.

But I have to make do with words. So consider these: this is the most shameless of the series, the most graphic, the most sickening, the most tasteless, and the most gooey. It's plodding, heavy-handed, and pointless, has a preponderance of cliches and stupidity, and is so anti-entertaining, it seems inconceivable that it wasn't intended to terrorize humanity.