> This is a debate that Dave and I got into yesterday, and argued about for hours or something, because that's just the kind of cool people we are: Is chewing gum "food"?

At work tonight, I got to thinking about how this debate might have gotten started...

DAVE: (opens refridgerator) "Man, Brunnen-G, we need to go to the grocery store! We don't have *any* food in the house!"

BRUNNEN-G: (holds up a pack of gum) "Yeah we do. See? We've got this gum."

DAVE: "Gum isn't food."

BRUNNEN-G: "Yes it is."

DAVE: "No it isn't."

BRUNNEN-G: "Yes it is."

DAVE: "I'm telling you, gum ISN'T food!"

[Dave and Brunnen-G have their first huge knock-down, drag-out fight, over whether gum is food or not.]

BRUNNEN-G: (angrily) "Fine. I'll post a message on the forum, and see what all the Rinkies think. I bet more people will agree with me than with you and your stupid opinion! What do you think of that?"

DAVE: (nursing a split lip and a black eye) "What do I think?"

[BRUNNEN-G FREEZES IN TIME WHILE DAVE THINKS, A LA _FIDDLER_ON_THE_ROOF_]

DAVE: "What do I think? I think posting the chewing gum question on the forum is a terrible idea! It'll probably turn into a huge but stupid debate, with extremely polarized factions on both sides, both refusing to admit defeat! Sam will then turn it into a poll question in an attempt to find out what the majority thinks, but then he'll probably go in and pad the results in favor of *his* opinion... it'll be the 'Is Cheese a Topping' fiasco ALL OVER AGAIN!!! What do I THINK?"

[BRUNNEN-G RESUMES NORMAL TIME]

Dave: "Great idea. Go for it. I'm going to the store to get some food."

Gri"it's funny the things you think about when you're washing dishes"shny