I guess I should clarify. I made the decision not to write to him about a month before he started dating his new girlfriend, so the two are totally unrelated. Part of the reason I made the decision, I think, was because I sort of felt attracted to him and I know that's a feeling I can never pursue, nor would I want to if I could. But considering that I didn't even realize that was true until just recently, that would have been but a minor subconcious factor.

The main reason I decided as I did was that I felt like if I were writing to him while he was out trying to convert people to a religion I believe to be wrong, it would be tantamount to my giving aid and comfort to the enemy, even though explicitly he already does know of my disapproval. That's not something I can live with.

It was a hard decision. I *did* feel a connection to him, and I'd even be so bold as to say he felt one to me. He challenged me in my faith and Lord knows I challenged him. (Usually our debates ended with him changing the subject because he had no reply. Hee.) It was unique enough a relationship that I doubt I'll ever have another just like it. But ultimately, it came down to remaining true to another relationship: that of mine to my Father. I felt like that one would suffer if I tried to preserve the other.

And now the bit of emotional confusion I've been through just seems like another reason, albeit minor to the original one, to break things off now. Sam's splinter analogy wasn't very far off. I think the girlfriend issue is something we could resolve, but I think in light of my original plans, it's just as well to let it go and not make him aware of my discomfort.

La"Let him remember me as the one who tripped him in the icy river and laughed manaically about it instead"Zorra