> Much care must be taken to understand someone like Vandal A, because it is not easy. I think Vandal A knows right from wrong but is so used to sacrificing what is right with what is comfortable that he is in denial about what kind of behavior is ok and what is not. But not caring about right from wrong does not make one immune to the consequences. And I'm not talking about retribution from the store, either. (Although if I were the manager of that store, the story would be decidedly different.) Even had the manager upheld your direction and made Vandal A pay for the damaged notebook, all this would accomplish would be to make Vandal A angrier at the world and, perhaps, therefore feel more justified in slighting it. The real consequences, unavoidable, will gnaw at him on the inside. If he wisens up, he'll realize what's happening and seek to make amends. If not, he may never realize what he's doing to himself, but he'll carry the weight of the burden nonetheless. Small, mean people do not lead contented lives.
>


Well said. I conclude that all you can do (from our - make that Dariens - point of view) is to try, as politely as possible, to stand firm. Do not give him any excuse for being rude. That way you maximise the possiblity that he (after having cooled down) will wisen up. Even if he doesn't immediately feel guilty, multiple experiences like that /will/ eventually lead him in the right direction.

In my opinion, people in general too easily resort to rudeness in such situations. It's as if their pride (hmf!) cannot take it. Is it this modern concept of RESPECT! rearing it's ugly head? There's this commercial on swedish TV, where a cartoon girl is asked, why she steals from her parents, friends and coach. That is, she says, so that she can buy [stuff]. Why does she need [stuff]? To get RESPECT! Whom would she like to be respected by? Her parents, friends and coach. 'Nuff said.

This general principle is, of course, hard to apply in this case when the boss works against you, but you'll have sent him a message also, so if there is ever a "next time", he might think twice. Even if it's another employee and customer (picture manager thinking "Hmmm, if all the employees say like that, maybe we could have that as policy"). There is a danish proverb which goes something like "many small streams make a large river", and history teaches us that this is very applicable in the employer/employee relationship, and I think this can be extrapolated.


> But here's an interesting question. Is happiness really the goal one should be seeking in life? I don't think happiness is bad, and I don't think it's bad to seek it, unless one seeks it above other things that are as or more important. But I do think there are things that are as or more important. Happiness is comfortable, but what does it profit us? It's not entirely useless -- we gain sanity from it, a reprieve which allows us to gain perspective. But it is with suffering that we learn. Without discontentment, what have motivated you to write that post? Writing that post did you good, and unusually conspicuous good at that: why, you were discovering things about yourself and the world around you even as you wrote, and you said so yourself as you were composing.
>
> My message to you would certainly not be "yeah, you're unhappy -- like it!" Pursuit of happiness, again, is not something I think to be bad. But if you are discontented with your life, it's not necessarily a bad thing, because such times may be used as opportunities to learn and grow.
>
> S "'Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.' -- Eccl. 7:3" am


I think that this is the point Grishny was also making (correct me if I'm wrong), and I was trying to compose a reply, when I decided to read the rest of the thread first.
What I want to say is that I agree that focusing solely on happiness, fortune and glory will end in disaster. One should not forget that man thrives spiritually on change: I believe that a "rich" life (one that includes both ups and downs) is what is best. But, while a uniform life is a sure recipe for unhappiness, a life which changes to fast and often causes stress. Therefore, what one is searching for is a balance that suits us.

Having established that good and evil are both needed, I feel the need to state that we, as a race, do not need /all/ the evil that we have in the world today. But again, your little contribution to removing that surplus will contribute to the general improvement of mankind.

There you have it. My take on life.

jul"26 years old and knows all there is to know about life"ian