> However, I can assure you that nobody in their right mind would want an action figure of me.

Are you kidding? I'd love one. (Hey, swallow that quip about me and my mind, I see it coming.) I can just see a Brunnen-G action figure and a Puck action figure and a Dave action figure and a Leen action figure and a me action figure, all aboard a model of a sailboat.

Brunnen-G Action Figure leaps up and down (because whenever an action figure talks, it is picked up and bounced furiously in the air, so all the other Action Figures know which one is talking) and says, "Let's go sailing in my boat!"

And Me Action Figure says, "Ok!" while leaping violently into the air and falling back to the ground faster than gravity can account for.

And Leen Action Figure says, "But first, let me take some Model Dramamine!"

And Dave Action Figure says, "CHIX)R!"

And Puck Action Figure says, "Right, you lot can sit right over there on the edge. Oh, gotta swing this around -- lean back a bit, right? More.... More...."

And Brunnen-G Action Figure goes, "LOL."

So the Model Spirit of Breaker Model Bay sets sail in a wide, vast sea of rug nap.

Bbbbbbbbbbbbvvvvvvvvv....

"Can I climb up the ladder?" Me Action Figure says, oscillating frenetically along the vertical axis.

"Ok!" Brunnen-G Action Figure says, futilely trying to maintain hold of the rudder/wheel/stick/prow while she thrashes about in the air. "But watch out! There are big winds coming, and if you lose your grip, you will FALL INTO THE WATER!"

"F.A.B.!" Me Action Figure says!

"Ohhhhhhhh!" Leen Action Figure moans violently. "The ladder goes too high!"

"Gosh, don't worry Leen Action Figure," Me Action Figure says. "I'll be careful!"

Perilously, Me Action Figure steps up to the ladder awkwardly, because his neck is not posable, and latches onto it by placing his hands in the general proximity of the ladder. He climbs!

"OH NO, THERE IS A STORM COMING!" Brunnen-G Action Figure shouts, leaping about more furiously than usual.

"BUGGER!" Puck Action Figure exclaims!

Whhhhoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The ship rocks vigorously, back and forth, and people scatter wildly! Their bodies go rigid as they slam into things with their heads!

"I can't hang on much longer!" Me Action Figure says, repeatedly jumping way up and free falling back down on the ladder.

The ship rocks VIOLENTLY back and forth! It is thrown against a closet door! (Boofffff!) Aaaahhhh!

"Puck Action Figure! Turn the forward gunwale cleat into the wind!" Brunnen-G action figure cries desperately!

"Ok!" Puck Action Figure says and does so while everyone else stays perfectly still.

"Now help me swing this boom around!" Brunnen-G Action Figure barks.

"I can't!" Puck Action Figure says. "While this ship is floundering about in the storm, only one of us can move around at a time!"

"Oh no," Me Action Figure says. "I am falling into the water! (Pshhhhhhh!) I have fallen into the water! Help! Help!"

"I'll save you!" Brunnen-G Action Figure shouts! "Leen Action Figure! Quick! I'll hold your ankles while you pull him out of the water!"

"Ok!"

The ship stops flailing about in the water and holds dead still while Brunnen-G Action Figure and Leen Action Figure collaborate on this difficult maneuver.

"I'll float RIGHT HERE until you reach me!" Me Action Figure murmurs, breaching protocol by, just this once, failing to thrash about as he speaks.

"I've almost reached him!" Leen Action Figure says. "Almost there...! GOT HIM!"

"YAY!"
"YAY!"
"YAY!"
"YAY!"

"Well!" Brunnen-G Action Figure says. "That's enough excitement for one day! Let's sail home and go to sleep!"

"Ok!"