>
>
> Once upon a time I was the king
> Of a very magical land
> With princesses and a castle and even a moat
> And unhappiness was practically banned

...this can't be anyplace else but Disneyland.

> And I treated all my subjects with
> The utmost respect and care
> But when I hid inside my room up above
> IT was like I wasn't even there

Mr. Disney liked to hide in his little office
above the fire station on Main Street.
(Not sure about the caps on "IT"--poetic emphasis or typo? May be key to entire song, but will have to skip it since I can't think of anything IT might represent...)

>
> 'Round the turn of the century -- no, not now
> I meant the earlier one --
> There was a train station and a Christmas tree

Disneyland's Main Street USA, modeled after a 1900's small town, where you can catch the Casey Jr. train...

> And the movies where you'd go to have fun

...and see the earliest Mickey Mouse films...

> And the President spoke from beyond the grave

...and hear the animatronic Mr. Lincoln.

> And a man in a hat played piano
> And when you rode down the street to fight a nonexistent fire

...and enjoy ragtime/honkytonk piano entertainers and antique fire trucks.

> You could see my dad's contract in the window

...um, he worked for Kodak? He was an animator?
Was one of the seven dwarves? (I actually knew someone once who worked there as one of the dwarves [costumed character]. She said people can get real mean to you when you're in a dwarf costume).

>
> But then you waited seven hundred years
> So you could fly off to the moon
> With flights leaving in the morning
> At night and in the afternoon
> See the sunken graveyard and the cross-eyed snake
> Or see the modern house of today
> And you could fly in flying saucers but eventually
> They up and flew away
>

Tommorrowland! But they tore down a lot of the old-but-good stuff recently (They up and flew away). Personal favorite was being shrunk to the size of an atom (easiest weight-loss I've ever acheived). And riding on the submarine, where the little girl sitting in front of me earnestly asked her mother, "Are they going to give us some more air soon?" :-)


> Later I was drifting on a boat with no sails or oars
> I was surrounded by shrieking little boys and little girls
> Like listening to the tower of Babel, each one politely instructed me
> On the state of our crazy little world
> And the boat makes its way to a quaint little town
> Full of murdering rapists and thieves
> And a little girl who later became famous
> Lived in sticks among the trees
>

I think we're in Frontierland now, aboard um, that big ship whose name I can't think of, going across to uh, that little island whose name I can't think of either. Or possibly the Pirates of the Caribbean, which would fit better--boats, a town, pirates. The stick/tree refers to the Swiss Family Robinson's treehouse, I suppose, but the little girl is a mystery.

> And the circus was in town but it left very quickly
> Taking its Ferris wheel with

The circus theme area didn't work out? Don't remember.

> And every house and store, every store and house and store
> Is based off a centuries-old myth

Fantasy land, with archetypical cottages and castle.

> All the subjects in my kingdom were happy
> And everything was going well
> But then the very worst thing that you can imagine happened
> And from then on things weren't so swell
>
> When I died
> And they cried
>
> So right away they built a graveyard for me
> And I'm buried next to I. P. Freely
> There's a man in the house, kind of tall and pale and thin
> I try to talk but all he does is move his head and grin

Mr. Eisner? --who doesn't have quite the same spirit that Mr. Disney did.

> And a worker got her head stuck in a ball
> And another woman was killed in a fall

Some sad accidents have plagued the park.

> What's happening here? Where did the ceiling go?
> Hey, look at that guy -- oh no, oh no, oh no

Perhaps the Disney Company's venture into more adult-oriented entertainment (where did the ceiling/limits go?)
>
> And the bears and the bunnies, we resurrected them all
> And we freed the slaves into the waterfall
> Though you'll never see him, that is true
> The man on the train can still see you
> We force the bears to get up, dance, and sing
> And the People for Ethical Animals don't say a thing
> No one really feels like seeing the bears
> If it weren't for the waterfall I'd say nobody cares

Bear Country Jamboree, achingly unbearable (oh, I had to say it, so sue me) for anyone under the age of four. Hilarioulsy skewered in the "Possum Park" segment of "The Goofy Movie" (one to add to the list for underrated movies). The log ride is the best thing in Bear Country.
>
> In the north end of the kingdom there is a brand new town
> With gallons of bright paint just dripping all around
> The pied piper took all the mice and every kid
> And apparently this new town is where they all were hid
> A bunny and a lady shun that which is green and fizzy
> A good idea, since it's making my driver get all dizzy
> And we'll ride around on TinkerToys like we don't give a darn
> Just stay away from the house, though, because a mouse is in the barn
>

Toonville! (Toontown? Toonburgh?...it's been a while). Favorite ride there = Roger Rabbit's.


> Times have changed and many battles have been fought
> Right now there's a grizzly bear in a parking lot

The California Adventure amusement park, built right next door, with the cheezy Grizzly Bear Mountain. No one I've talked to who has been there seems to like it very much.


> The world-famous light bulbs are no longer turned on

Bye bye, Main Street Electrical Parade, and the mind-numbing music which accompanied it.

> The bus system of the future has already come and gone

..the not-at-all-lamented people-mover, possibly the slowest ride *ever*.

> There's another movie theater but this one has color flicks
> And you can ride back to the Orient on a space train just for kicks
> The little famous girl in the tree no longer lives up there

*light bulb goes on* Tinkerbelle, who used to swoop down on a zip line (or something) high above the ooohing and awwing crowds.

> Instead there's a long-haired youth who likes to surf on air
>
> Once upon a time I was the king
> Of a very magical land
> With princesses and a castle and even a moat
> And unhappiness was practically banned
> And I treated all my subjects with
> The utmost respect and care
> But when I hid inside my room up above
> It was like I wasn't even there
>
> -Eric "The King" Sleator
> Tue 10 Jul A.D. 2001



koala"interpreting a song is a lot like interpreting a dream"mom