I had a revelation today. We apparently do have a consciousness, a spirit, whatever. And it's not your brain. And, like revelations typically do, it took a near-death expereince.

It was a fairly normal Sunday night. I was walking along, minding my own business and using clichés. Then some foreign matter entered my eye. I tried blinking, but it remained there. I think it even went a bit lower down. Having exhausted my supply of quick things to do in these situations, I stuck my finger in it. It was then that I noticed a pair of shoes lying on the floor, that some silly person had just left there. (If you do this - walking into a shop and leaving things on the floor - stop it now). Well, I didn't notice them in the direct way, because my finger was in my eye and occupying most of my thoughts. I noticed them by kicking them. The sudden collision with my foot took me somewhat by surprise, and my lower half tried to stop. My upper bit didn't, and being only slightly stretchy, I began to rotate about my feet.

It was then that I had a conversation with my brain. I politely enquired as to what my body was doing, and it responded by telling me that it was making toward the floor. I was slightly stunned. I continued my enquiries by asking whether I had issued any orders, to be relayed through my brain, that would cause such a motion. It said that I had not. Clearly, I had a case of insubordination here. My brain was acting of its own accord, with complete disregard for the safety of its host body. Deciding that my brain was now unreliable, I issued direct orders to brace for impact, and narrowly avoided stabbing myself through the eye (even though that would have taught my brain a thing or two). The end result is that due to the actions of my consciousness, I came off with only a bit of a scratch on my knee and a slight numbness around the palms. My brain is unable to comment on the situation, as it is facing legal action.