> When I was a kid, I hated the rare occasions on which my family would go tent camping instead of going away on the boat. (Yes, it's genetic. Grew up with the things, couldn't wait to get my own.) The tent *supposedly* kept the bugs outside, but after the number of mosquitoes getting inside had reached crisis proportions, I used to imagine leaping for the door, zipping it up really fast behind me, and sleeping outside on the ground in the blissful knowledge that EVERY SINGLE MOSQUITO in the Southern Hemisphere was now trapped INSIDE the tent.
>
> Brunnen-"glad we don't have snakes in this country"G

Here in FL we have mosquitoes *and* snakes, and lots of them. And as I found out the only time I ever went on a camping trip that did not involve sleeping in someone's backyard, we also have wild pigs.

I was a girl scout back when I was in fifth grade or so (my troop got kicked out the next year, but that's another story), and every year, our council had a big campout jamboree at a local campsite. My mother, who doesn't even like to go outside to let the dog out and whose idea of roughing it is non-quilted toilet paper, was co-leader of our troop. The other leader didn't have any idea what she was doing either.

So we pitched our tents (no, they were not the self-pitching sort, but even we could manage tying a few ropes to a few stakes) and set up our frontier scene for the decoration contest. We are easily the least qualified and most unorthodox troop out there; we had no idea how to light the campfire, our leaders smoked (and so did some of the girls, I think), we had no idea what to pack, and no one remembered the bug spray.

Night falls, and we get in our tents. 2 medium sized tents for 13 girls, which is a squeeze. Sometime in the middle of the night we hear mysterious noises... what appears to be a scratching at the tent, and some rustling outside. Someone tentatively shines a flashlight outside... and sees the silhouette of wild pigs destroying our campsite. Imagine 13 girls and 2 adults screaming hysterically, at 2 am. No, actually, 12... I can sleep through *anything*.

The next morning we survey the wreckage. Our frontier scene is destroyed; two of the girls had contributed Cabbage Patch Dolls, and were devastated to find their decapitated bodies, along with the rest of their stuff, strewn around the campsite. And forget about the food. Everyhting was torn up and covered in pig urine.

It was then that the troop unanimously decided to cut the camping trip short and go to the beach, which was far more our speed. We got into the water...

And we promptly came right back out. All of us got sea lice.

I actually like being outdoors, though I'd like to be able to take the computer with me. My mother and most of the rest of the troop will never go camping again.

-Fob"still got the badge for that one"ulis