> > Question: what's the best fortune you've ever gotten from a fortune cookie?
>
> I can't answer that, because I don't remember any of the fortunes I've had.
> However, I was there when someone I knew broke open a cookie and pulled out the following:
>
> IF YOU THINK WE GOING TO TRY FIT YOUR FUTURE ON THIS SMALL PIECE PAPER, YOU CRAZY

ROTFLOL
Oh please tell me that was the exact wording. It is funnier with the bad grammer.

I used to have a bunch of fake fortunes that came with "Penn and Tellers: How to Play With Your Food" You were supposed to replace your actuall fortune with one of them to freak out your friends.

example

"That lump is cancer"

There was also one that read "Smart A$$ skeptic, Monkey Man is going to make you belive" (or something to that effect) that required a special buildup. You first talk about how sill fortunes are, then you tell this supposed 'urban legend' about a skeptic and horoscopes that ends with the skeptic getting a visit from the Monkey Man (after hsi horoscope had the "Smart A$$ skeptic..." prediction). I never tried it and have since lost the fortune sheet. Oh well.

Speed'tomorrowyouwilldostuff'ball