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Ugh. Depressed again.
Posted By: zK, on host 72.64.253.2
Date: Monday, June 12, 2006, at 16:22:31

*sigh*

Well, another week's rolling around, and I'm depressed again. When you're depressed like I am, it's just impossible to find out WHY you're depressed. You just seem depressed for no reason, even when the actual reason is right in front of you.

All of you have probably been depressed at one time or another, but it passes, and it's usually short-term. It could be something large or small that's bugging you. For me, I am depressed often, mostly all the time. I hide it well, for the most part.

Well, I guess, thanks to some soul-searching and a nice chat with Chrysanthemum, I found out that the obvious reason I'm depressed all the time is that my parents are divorcing after almost sixteen years of being together, and I have to move, probably out-of-state. I will lose all contact with everyone I know, and my whole family is in Michigan, and I'm not gonna be moving there, because my mother thinks it's way too cold up there. Yeah, it sucks, I know, but warmth isn't everything. On top of that, I'm failing my Algebra class, a couple of my friends have started smoking bad things, I have to leave my girlfriend, and someone who once used to be my best friend, what I just recently discovered, is that she leads a horrible life of cursing, pain, stress, and nasty literature...

You think you're sad, you think you're depressed, but you've probably got no clue what it's really like in this dark little forgotten pit of hell. It's deep sadness, and you don't want to talk to anybody but at the same time you wish you had someone to talk to. You're so lonely, and it feels like you're gonna die in the rain. You've got to fight off thoughts of suicide every day.

Sorry, I usually don't get like this with you guys. Forgive me for putting my burdens on you, but I need some help. I can't live like this.

Don't worry, this isn't a suicide note or anything, I've got way too much ahead of me to do something like that. ^_^

I've got to go now, Thanks, Chrysanthemum, for being so nice to me all the time, for listening to me, and I love you all, whoever cares.

-zK

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