The Day the Network Died
Sung to the tune of Don McLean's "American Pie"

Long long time ago,
But I can still remember
How the network used to really fly.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make that server dance
And maybe we could web-surf for a while.
But February made me shiver
When each email was not delivered,
Bad news from the news host,
I couldn't make one more post.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read of how those routers fried
But something touched me deep inside
The day the network died.

So bye bye, Mr X25
Pointed Netscape at the proxy but it wasn't alive
And NFS server Parker didn't survive
Singing this'll be the day the LAN dies
This'll be the day the LAN dies

Oh did you write the book of Perl
Or do you have faith in the real world
Believe if Barry tells you so.
Now do you believe in Java code
Or do you take the MS road,
And can you show me how to cut .. the .. load?
Well I know that you're in love with X
'Cause I saw that code you wrote in Rexx,
You booted up Exceed,
But it can't do what you need.
I was a lonely teenage hacking spod
With a Linux box and a network card
But I knew life was just too hard
The day the network died.

Now for 10 days we've been on our own
And the mail queue builds to overload
But that's not how it used to be.
When Jeeves served files to me and you
And the SunOS boxes ran SunView
And we always had the freedom of GNU.
But one day Barry's box went down
The students stole his newsgroup crown,
All sessions were suspended,
Badladding never ended.
While Barry read a book on Wirth,
And freshers found the web to surf
We were durging with great mirth
The day the network died.

I met a girl with bouncy shoes,
And asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and booted CDE.
I swiped my card, went through the door,
Where I'd run Motif years before,
But the helpdesk said that they could not help me.

And in the library users screamed,
The OWPers cried, the durgers dreamed,
But nobody was posting,
The heffalump was roasting.
And the one thing I admire the most,
The Unix x11 host,
Was broken due to missing toast,
The day the network died.