> I don't know what it is about me and Dave that works so much better than my previous relationship did, but I have to say, "marriage being something you need to work at" doesn't even come into it. It's been a couple of years now and not only was there no period of adjustment, it's just been better and better all the time. Obviously, don't underestimate the need for work and seriousness, if the need arises, but don't go looking for it. In our case, I'm sure there WILL eventually be things we need to work through -- there are in every relationship sooner or later -- but it hasn't happened yet.

I think I could've worded that better as in, "be willing to work at the marriage if/when the time comes that it needs it". I certainly haven't gone looking for a marriage that I know is going to need work. Ross and I are in the same boat as you and Dave as far as I can tell. We're not expecting there to be a period of adjustment to each other because we've never had a problem with that when we've had the chance to be together. Only an adjustment of him getting used to living in America.

> Communication is important, as everybody says. Never play mind games or expect that the other person will know what you really meant, or understand what you're feeling if you haven't said anything. Agree that there is nothing you can't talk about to each other; if you both abide by this, there will be trust and openness between you and problems will most likely never arise.

Thankfully this is already how we are. There were a lot of mind games played on me with a previous boyfriend and if Ross had even started to ever go there we certainly wouldn't be getting married or even dating still.


Anyway, thanks for the advice. I think a lot of this is stuff we already practice, but is good to hear again and can also be good advice for anyone starting a relationship or just getting into the "serious phase" in one.

- fam"we love Moulin Rouge already, but will consider adding Robot Wars to the list"ous