One thing I think a lot of people don't take into account is that different people have different ways of showing love. If one of you needs to be told "I love you", and the other thinks of love as something you show by doing nice things for the other person, there can be a clash -- you're both showing affection, according to the way you each see it, but your partner doesn't notice or realise, so they feel neglected. This is something I learned from my first attempt.

I don't know what it is about me and Dave that works so much better than my previous relationship did, but I have to say, "marriage being something you need to work at" doesn't even come into it. It's been a couple of years now and not only was there no period of adjustment, it's just been better and better all the time. Obviously, don't underestimate the need for work and seriousness, if the need arises, but don't go looking for it. In our case, I'm sure there WILL eventually be things we need to work through -- there are in every relationship sooner or later -- but it hasn't happened yet.

Not panning Gahalyn's advice to watch "Moulin Rouge" together, but "Robot Wars" is just as good really, and has more cool circular saw/flamethrower action in it. Hey, it works for us. Basically you just need to do things together, and enjoy being together; and also have interests of your own. Don't get so tied up in each other that you lose your own identity; that's not the way it's supposed to work. You're not blending into one person, but staying two people and learning to harmonise with each other. In a good relationship, you each make your partner more who they are, not less.

Communication is important, as everybody says. Never play mind games or expect that the other person will know what you really meant, or understand what you're feeling if you haven't said anything. Agree that there is nothing you can't talk about to each other; if you both abide by this, there will be trust and openness between you and problems will most likely never arise.