> April 16 - Kill Bill, Vol. II
>
> The summer starts here. I just caught Vol. I
> earlier this week. I was minorly disappointed,
> but I loved the fun it had with its creative
> heritage.

I think both volumes of Kill Bill were amazing. When I first saw Kill Bill I, it was uncomfortable to watch, but after I thought about it and got myself used to it, it was a lot of fun. It's a very unique movie. And it is a movie. Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, while certainly unique as well, had more of a realistic tone to them: it was basically as if you had put a camera down in front of these gangsters and filmed them going about their business. Kill Bill is much more cinematic. Also, I don't know who the cinematographer was, but I am not worthy even to lick his boots.


> April 23 - 13 Going On 30
>
> I'm suspicious of this one, too. It stars
> Jennifer Garner as a 13 year old who wakes up
> one day as a 30 year old woman. Rip Van Winkle
> as a romantic teen comedy? Garner is talented,
> but this sounds pretty cornball.

Faux Pas is right: this is "Big" with a girl and no Tom Hanks.


> May 7 - New York Minute
>
> The Olsen Twins in a slapstick farce. I'm such
> a huge Olsen Twins fan, I even swiped one of the
> poll questions they had on their web site and
> used it on mine. ("WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU
> CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT? LIP GLOSS, HAIR
> BRUSH, OR MINTS???")

A HAIR BRUSH!!!!!


> May 14 - Troy
>
> Wolfgang Petersen can be fantastic with intimate
> action movies, and I suspect he'll be as
> successful keeping a grand epic personal in
> scope. The Iliad is a great enough story that
> even bad movies about them can almost be
> compelling: witness, for example, the poor yet
> very watchable Helen of Troy miniseries from
> last year. "Troy" has spectacular promise,
> particularly with its cast, which ranges all the
> way from Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom to Peter
> O'Toole and Julie Christie. The trailers
> suggest it could go overboard on spectacle, but
> it all depends on how able the movie's tone is
> to sell it.

I think I'm going to go see this. I don't know if I'll like it, but I'll try.


> May 21 - Shrek 2
>
> Expect this to be ever bit the hit that the
> original was.

This has Julie Andrews AND John Cleese. How can it possibly go wrong?


> June 4 - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of
> Azkaban
>
> Hooray, Chris Columbus is out of the picture.
> The first two movies were good in spite of him;
> now let's see what can happen with some
> visionary talent at the helm.

I hope the special effects don't look like a bunch of CG special effects. Even if they do, though, Gary Oldman's in this. Gary Oldman can do no wrong.


> June 25 - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
>
> What The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra did for 1950s
> sci-fi horror, Sky Captain seems to be doing for
> pulp serials. It's the first movie to be
> filmed entirely in front of a blue screen. The
> movie looks terrible, but the visuals look
> sleek, styled, and imaginative.

See, this is the one I'm excited about. The only indication I've seen that it will be bad in any way is Anjelina Jolie trying to look cool in the trailers. The rest of it looks like a really interesting experiment: what if we made a futuristic robot movie, in 1939? It looks cool, I think.


> June 30 - Spiderman 2
>
> David Poland seems to think this isn't going to
> crack $150 million at the box office. I would
> be surprised.

I don't know who this David Poland fellow is, but he sounds like a schmuck.


> July 16 - I, Robot
>
> It's actually funny how Hollywoodized this
> project is. The Asimov book of the same name is
> a collection of unconnected short stories, so
> perhaps it's not improper that this film isn't
> based on any of them, despite sporting its
> title. But a wise-cracking Will Smith, leading
> humanity against a revolution of robots? This
> is the kind of movie people *joke* about
> Hollywood stooping to. For all I know, this
> will be a decent movie, but I can't help but
> think it loses credibility in a big way by being
> tied to Asimov's short stories.

I saw the trailer for it. It looks pretty bad. The robots look like that Björk music video, except angry. And what was up with the trailer, anyway? They explicitly stated the first law of robotics, and then showed the robots disobeying it. What gives? I haven't even read any Asimov and I'm still annoyed.


> July 19 - A Cinderella Story
>
> Hilary Duff is a lot like Lindsay Lohan right
> now. For my money, two modern day teen fairy
> tales in the last two weeks is enough.

Hilary Duff is like Lindsay Lohan, except with no talent.


> July 23 - Catwoman

Is there even a Batman in this movie? If not, what's the point?


> July 30 - The Village
>
> M. Night Shyamalan. I'm there.

I know too much already. The way I'd prefer going into a Shyamalan movie is knowing only the director and the title. I think that's the best way to do it. Unfortunately, I have an Internet connection, so that is impossible. :(

-Eric Sleator