Even mild diabetes can change your whole life. I get a tiny little hole in my arm every morning. I have to test a droplet of blood for a sugar-level reading. They said it wouldn't hurt, and it doesn't. Trust me, the new equiptment makes it painless. I do it on my arm, because on the finger it still hurts.

But you wouldn't believe the pain of no deserts. I never have liked sugar in coffee or tea. I don't use it on cereal, I think sugar doesn't belong in vegetables, and salsa and chips are my favorite snack, but desserts are -- make that "were" -- a big part of my life. Our next cruise may be a little different.

Naturally, I am losing weight. I'm down about eight or ten pounds over four weeks. I didn't need that extra flab, but I worry about what happens if I keep losing. There are some real skinny genes in my family. We are tall, but small boned and that makes for a lot of bean poles.

Eating out is a problem. One stop at a restaurant can send my sugar level up 15 points. You don't know what they put in that food. Sugar shows up in bread, salad dressing, peanut butter,and even butter sometimes had honey in it. Some people can't make tomato sauce, barbeque sauce, or creamed corn without dumping sugar in it. Maybe it's just southern cooking. I may have to move Up North.

Today is my son's birthday. We'll have cake and ice cream after supper. I don't have a problem with that. I just look at that stuff and think "poison" and I'm not tempted. But my mouth still waters.

And my little problem even extends to my wife. She loves to cook. She is a world class baker and her desserts are the best. She wrote the book on cobblers and she does wonderful things with bread. Her bisquits, sourdough, yeast bread, and corn bread are in a class by themselves. (Now there is a switch. Down here in Dixie we don't usually put sugar in corn bread, but Up North, they almost always do.) Poor woman is having to learn a whole new style of cooking, but she is taking it in stride. We now have lots of specialized cook books and she is conferring with all of the wives of diabetics that she knows.

Now that's strange. I didn't think of it until now but most of the diabetics we know are men. I know one guy who has had it for 63 years. He's about 80 and looks pretty darn good. I'm also surprised at the number of people who are diabetic and I didn't even know it.

My sisters asked my wife if I was depressed about it. It caught her by surprise, probably because neither of us had thought of it as being depressing. I know a lot of people with worse problems than diabetes. And most of them keep a positive attitude.

Howard