> > Remembering your beloved's birthday and your anniversary isn't so much romantic as it is a stay of execution, for surely you'll forget someday, and when you do, you'll find out how not romantic cold shoulders and tears are. Your safest bet is to find someone whose birthday is on Christmas, then marry her on New Year's Day, because nobody forgets those days.
>
> That would explain Sam's stolid suggestion to get born on Christmas or New Year's, or somewhere between the two. It makes things easier to remember all around. Then make sure to get married on the Fourth of July.

Guilty as charged.

> I always thought 'Tortenilli' was spelt Tortellini...

Er...it is. That would be a dyslexic form of typo, which has been corrected.

> > clear your throat to get everyone's attention.[3] ...
>
> Clearing your throat at the dinner table is never romantic.

Good point. I added a parenthetical to the text of "How To Be Romantic" to help clarify what type of throat clearing should be employed.