I have been thinking a lot lately about how I perceive the world, and how that is different from other people's perceptions(see my other post for a little of that). One thing which has really been on my mind is social convention. Like a lot of nerds, and many people on Rinkworks, I never had an easy time around people.

I'm sort of a social phobic, expecting that everyone is criticizing my every move(which my psychology textbook says is typical of teenagers. Heh. Go figure). I often stand in front of the mirror and try to see myself as other people must see me. For one thing, I'm six feet tall and a girl. To me I look average height. I know I don't look that way to others.

So my question is this: How deeply do you analzye people in reality? I know that I have based my opinions on people's appearances and actions. It is very easy to make a bad impression. How quickly do you judge a person when you meet them? When they come on Rinkchat?

And what, exactly, is that thing which everyone bases their evaluations of everyone on? What is the perfect body type, the perfect sense of humor, sense of duty, cleanliness, vocal tone?

How can people be annoyed at you for one thing, then turn around the next day and tell you that the exact opposite thing about you drives them mad, with you having changed not a bit?

This all boils down to one major topic: What is the film through which people see the world? Why do different people have different perspectives? Is it even possible to predict how others will see you? Or think about you? Is there any way to please anyone, let alone everyone with your behavior?

And this leads to more questions. Should you change for other people? The reflex answer is "No, of course not.". But think about it. Everyone changes for other people. If you didn't, you would be an absolute social outcast. Imagine someone who didn't care at all what others thought about them. Say that they liked their natural odor, so never showered or wore deoderant. And maybe they don't like school, so they don't go, and therefore never learn proper grammar. Would anyone accept such a person? No. So of course it is important to change for other people, and to anticipate their reactions to you.

When do you achieve balance in this? When have you changed enough to be acceptable to most people, but not enough to still be yourself? Is that even possible?

Well. That's just another thing I think about. Maybe now it is something you will think about.

Melanie