Well, here we go. I've been at work far longer than I really wanted to be today, so I wasn't able to say anything at the height of this thread.

That's probably a good thing. A good thing because my initial reaction to the post was fairly negative. It struck me as more whiny "Oh the forum/chat sucks" crap (which it partly is) and we do that thread every six months or so it seems. It also seemed accusatory to me, as if Sam was saying "I'm lonely and feel left out because you all chat amongst yourselves and don't come to my chatroom anymore and it's all your fault!" I had the feeling that even though I'm on AIM for between three and eight hours a day, have an email address everybody and his brother knows (as evidenced by the fact that I get anywhere between 40 and 60 spam messages a day, almost all of them addressed to "dave@rinkworks.com") and after some coaxing even started logging into chat somewhat regularly at least to check my memos, that that wasn't good enough. Because I wasn't using RinkChat as my primary means of communication with my friends, I was doing something wrong.

So, as I said, it's probably a good thing that I didn't get to respond to this thread sooner, as I might have just posted something like the above (although far more sarcastic and cutting) and left it at that. Now, however, I'm at a far more understanding point and can see Sam's point more clearly, so I will instead post a really long philosophical post about the nature of communities (OH JOY JUST WHAT YOU WANTED!!)

The word "community" can mean different things, but the definition that most fits the community of RinkWorks is "a bunch of people who share at least one thing in common (liking some portion of RinkWorks) who choose to get together and visit." In this definition, membership in the community is entirely voluntary, and since the sole criterion for membership is so vague, there is a lot of diversity amongst Rinkies. So just because I think a room with 8 people all talking about anime is almost the very definition of hell, I can think of at *least* 8 Rinkies off the top of my head who would love that.

I bring this up because everytime we have this "CHAT SUCKS" thread, we seem to be at odds with each other over not only how and why chat sucks, but what the definition of "suck" is and *if* chat even sucks at all. The fact that there are still upwards of 12 people in chat most anytime I log in seems to indicate to me that *some* people think chat doesn't suck, or at least that chat doesn't suck enough to keep them away yet. The fact is that for each one of us who thinks that chat sucks, there's bound to be someone who either doesn't notice it sucks, doesn't think the suckitude has gotten out of hand, or doesn't think chat sucks at all. So who am I to go off about how much it sucks when in fact there are plenty of people still sitting in there jabbering away at each other who apparently prove me wrong? There are enough people responding to this thread saying things in support of chat that make me believe that enough people still think chat is worthwhile to keep it around.

I don't wish to dwell on this topic, though, because a case can be made that Sam, as owner of the site, has some authority in the matter and can in fact tell us that chat sucks if he feels like it.

One point I would like to make, though, is this. We aren't all here for the same reasons. The idea that the "community" has a purpose is not a very valid one. Some of us are here to hang out with a specific few people. Some are here to meet new people. Some like the idea of being a member of a group and want to be friends with everyone here. Some want to only form a few friendships and not have many dealings with others in the group. All of those are valid reasons for chatting.

Let me talk personally and frankly if I may. I have met a small group of close friends through this website. I value those friendships highly, and I'm thankful for RinkWorks for introducing those people to me. But I honestly no longer have much desire to make new close friends. I'd rather keep the ones I have, and explore and expand upon those relationships. I also have a whole messload of not-as-close friends and acquaintances from this site, and again I'm not much interested in making too many more of those either. Frankly, the fact that you come to RinkWorks isn't a key indicator of whether I'll like you and want to be friends with you or not. Honestly, it's not even a very *good* one, as there are hordes more people here that I either dislike or have no opinion of than those that I actively consider friends or even "people who are cool to hang with". I don't think I'm being mean when I say this either. This isn't the Freemasons, we didn't all take blood oaths to join, and since "membership" is both voluntary and completely open, I don't feel obligated in any way to make an effort to be friends with anybody who comes here if I don't feel like it. If I join a club with hundreds of members, I don't think it unreasonable that once I have become friends with a comfortable number of members I stop looking for more members to befriend.

I have to think I'm not alone in this. If we have cliques and "elitistm" here, it's because of this more than anything, I have to think. It's just a natural part of people getting together and being social. It's not something that can be stopped, and I don't think it's even something that *needs* to be stopped as long as it doesn't turn into abuse in some way. The splintering of the "community" is also natural to an extent, simply because we're not all going to be friends and we're not all here for the same reasons.

Similarly, if a group of people who originally met here feel their needs are better served by AIM or Live Journals, then I don't see why it impinges upon the RinkWorks community to have them conduct their relationships that way. People will participate in the community exactly as much as they want to. Just because Ellmyruh left RinkWorks doesn't mean she's not still an omnipresent fixture on my AIM buddy list. She's right there if I feel the need to talk to her. Just because I originally met her through RinkChat doesn't make me feel that the only proper way for me to talk to her is through RinkChat.

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm losing my train of thought. I've already deleted more than what will eventually get posted. But what I'm desperately trying to say is, we're all different, we're all here for different reasons, we all have differing goals, we all want different things out of the community, we all want differing amounts of closeness and differing numbers of close friends, and that's a *good* thing.

That being said, maybe the answer really is those elitist private rooms.

-- Dave