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> Johnny: A brand new towel! perfect for long hitch-hiking vacations, and this isn't just an ordinary towel, no no no, this towel is made of COTTON, yes COTTON, the wonder substance of the future!! From the men who brought you toothpick. And also the first ones to include instructions on all their products.

NOT FAIR!!! I want a towel. I've been using spruce roots. They're a real pain, especially since they're so dirty.

Hey, Darien, got any black market cotton-towel connections? Or is J.O.Y. [hey-- your initials spell joy! Gasp! Another conspiracy] one of your agents? Or is he actually you in disguize? Oh, how fiendishly clever....