> However, I think some people are missing a big point. . . it applies to online friendships in general.

> The "community" isn't a site. It's *people*, regardless of whether they interact in person, in this chatroom, in any other chatroom, or by sending postcards written in crayon. Three quarters of you have already opened livejournals and started posting there instead of here. Half of my friends have been conversing more on AIM or other systems than in the chatroom, for YEARS now. Does that mean you're not part of my online community?

> Keeping friends, whether here or offline, is a two-way process.

> Brunnen-"actually this whole post was just a bid for more people to send me memos"G

I suspect I am in the minority, but I do not have AIM, or any access to the eqivalent. I do have e-mail, and I've used it with some success. (*Of course, people have to actually answer for this to work - you know who you are: hint, hint). Most of the time this is sufficient, along with the time I spend in RinkChat. Because of the nature of my job, I'm often away for long periods from the chatroom. I rely on /memoes, and reading the aforementioned LiveJournals to keep up. Online friendships have slightly different rules, in the sense that they're immediate, and they're removed, all at the same time.

When I reflect on the people who have moved in and out of my world in the past, both geographically and emotionally, I can see that this is part of life: loss, change, separation all are necessary sometimes. They are never pleasant, but usually they are cause for growth of some sort. I admire people who make a clean break from things. I've had friends slowly fade away, and that's worse in many ways. You're left with an unfinished/unsettled feeling of not really knowing where you stand. After a while it is obvious, but in many ways just to say "Well, I'm going to be really busy with other things in my life right now. I won't have the time to spend with you I've had in the past, but I'll miss you," is far preferable.

Some people don't share this view - heck, I probably didn't ten years ago. One of the lessons I've learned as I approach 40 is that some things are worth obsessing about, and some aren't. Do you know the serenity prayer? "Grant me the strength to change the things I can, the ability to accept what I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference." Other people's decisions are other people's decisions, and they're very rarely motivated by your actions or emotions. I'm sad that people make decisions to lessen the contact they'll have with me, but I also celebrate the new friends I've made - friends I wouldn't have had a chance to ever find without RinkWorks.

Well, this was way more than I'd originally attempted to post, so I'll stop now.

te "by the way, I don't think I've said this before, but Thanks, Sam" ach