the cat's view of Christmas
Howard, on host 216.80.149.63
Wednesday, December 25, 2002, at 07:15:06
I spent the last week sniffing all around those packages under the tree in the living room. Then almost every day, somebody comes in and moves them around and I have to sniff them all over again. I climbed the tree, but there was nothing up there. No birds, nothing. I found a small drinking bowl at the bottom.
This morning, all those noisy people came in. They were all excited and running around making noise. I could see their feet from under the bed.
Finally they all went into the living room and the rest of the house seemed safe, so I slinked around the walls and made my way to the kitchen to check my bowl. I had that dry stuff early this morning, but I like to check the bowl hourly, because you can't always hear that wet, fishy stuff when it hits the bowl.
Well, I started back to my safe place under the bed, but a small person spotted me and I was dragged into the living room where people were ripping and tearing paper from boxes and making all kinds of stange people noises. There were way too many people in that room. Two small people were sitting in the doorway, so there was no way to escape. I dived under the tree and got behind a box that had already been ripped open. That caused them to all make that horrible laughing sound that I hear every time I panic. Colored paper and ribbons were flying all over the room and everything, even the chairs had been moved. It will take forever to sniff around all that stuff that has been moved, but I'm not about to start that until all of those small people leave.
Then they all got up and went to the kitchen and dining room. I was still trapped, because some the small people were flinging toys up and down the hall. There was no way to get back to the bed, so I sneaked out from under the tree and began sniffing some piles of paper and plastic.
About that time, the hall quieted down and food smells started drifting around the house, so I slinked into the kitchen. Nobody there. They had gone into that big table room where I take my naps, and they had taken all the food with them!
I looked through the door and the most wonderful thing was happening. Morsels of food were falling on the floor, especially under the high chair. Some of it was ham and turkey! I became fearless. I darted under the table and began to pick up bits of food. Some of the people saw me and tossed even bigger morsels! After a while I was so full, I went back under the bed for a nap. The house was quieter and I think I heard the TV come on. That usually means everybody will be sitting still for a while. Christmas starts out as bad news, but it works out OK.
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