BIRDS OF PREY

Alfred: Hello, I'm Alfred Pennyworth. I'd tell you about the legacy of Batman and Catwoman and their daughter, but this show will probably be cancelled by the time I'm done with this sentence because it is absolutely horrid.

(The camera SWOOPS AROUND a computer-generated CITY that appears to be twenty-five square miles of skyscrapers before zooming into one of the three EXTREMELY SMALL sets that will be featured in tonight's episode.)

Huntress: I'm all angsty.

(She jumps over a BUILDING.)

Dinah: All my life I never fit in and all I want is someone to be my friend. Will you be my friend?

Huntress: God, you're whiny.

(The villain du jour appears and is kicked in the FACE by Huntress.)

Oracle: Good work, Huntress. Now let's have a reflective moment on the balcony of our super-secret headquarters.

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FIREFLY

Joss Whedon: Hi! Welcome to my science-fiction series! It's pretty much like all other sci-fi series you've seen, except it's really a western and there are no aliens, because westerns don't have aliens! Anyway, it has many parallels to the Reconstruction period of... American history... and... um... Hello? Is there anyone watching? .... Hello?

(The chirping of CRICKETS is heard.)

Joss Whedon: Hello?

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-FP