This is a tough post to reply to and offer any decent advice. Which is probably why I opted to try instead of lurking around the Forum like I've done lately. I love a challenge. :-)

Anyway, I try to live in humility and modesty all the time. (That *is* the best policy, or so they say...) It's hard to do, but in the long run I think it's actually better for my self-esteem than being full of myself all the time. Basically, when I see someone who outdoes me, I say something along the lines of "Wow, that's amazing" or "You're really good at that!" or even "Pshaw, I wouldn't even be able to do *half* as well as that." So these lines are kind of corny. Feel free to modify the recipe to taste.

The point is, don't be concerned with how your abilities stack up. Even if you really get frustrated about it, don't make a big deal. Just keep your frustration quiet and as slight as you can: There's no need to raise a stink about it. The major thing is that you need to concentrate on expanding yourself all the time. Work on raising your standards and getting closer to the goals you want to achieve so that you will be able to outdo people. It won't happen instantly, of course, but gradually. In the meantime, don't celebrate your victories. If you think you "beat" your friend, deny it. Still tell him what a great job you did and point out the good points of what he's done (and the flaws of what you've done). This will help you see what areas you can still improve on without getting a big head or cutting your friend down.

If you must have a little victory, that's fine, but keep it inside your head. After all, what's the point in telling everybody how awesome you are? Like they really want to hear it. Don't worry; you're improving. So be happy! :-)

I believe that lifting up your friends' accomplishments is a good way to nurture your friendships. It might seem kind of strange to hear this, but it's a lesson I learned from Dale Carnegie's (good, albeit old) book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Tell your friends that you appreciate what they do and watch the troubles disappear, both for them and for you.

I get the impression that this friend of yours isn't the most humble person in the world. It sounds like his web site is kind of boastful... I don't know. But if you can be humble and he can't, *pow*, you've just found something that you're better than him with. :-) As a side note, I'd be interested to see this person's web site, just 'cause I'm curious like that.

This humble approach has always worked for me, but I can't guarantee it'll work for you. I mean, I've gotten and kept many friends from it -- and it doesn't work nearly as badly as you'd expect. I don't feel belittled or worthless or anything like that. Often, my friends follow my example and praise what I do too, which is nice. It doesn't make the friendships phony either, because we're not concerned with outdoing each other like everything's some sort of competition. Rather, if it *is* a competition, we're on the same team. :-) You'd be amazed how effective this is. The Bible has a lot of helpful advice for people trying to live a humble life (that is, after all, a key element of Christianity). Even if you don't agree with the theology, the Bible does have a lot to offer on this way of thinking, plus the Carnegie book I mentioned above.

Sorry for writing so long. I have a hard time conveying the message that's bouncing around in my head... It makes sense to me but finding the words to explain it is maddening. I hope it all seems clear and I hope it helps!

-useless"Anything I can do, you can do better"ness

P.S. There's a really interesting article in the "That's Outrageous!" column of the new (August) Reader's Digest magazine. As it turns out, self-esteem isn't nearly as important as people thought it was. Actually, it's pretty insignificant. Furthermore, a bunch of students were polled: "How good are you at mathematics?" The kids who said they were really good had the lowest test scores, but the kids who ranked themselves lower were actually a lot smarter! So what do you know? :-)