[Ria]
>>...but I know that if I do it just because I'm being bugged about it by my consience or my mother, it *won't* mean anything to me. I'm trying to work myself up to it.. because I really want to want it when I go for it.

Ria, if you feel like your conscience is bugging you to get baptized, have you considered the possibility that the Holy Spirit is actually the One urging you?

I think your former pastor was right not to baptize you when you were 9 if you didn't come to Christ until 12, but it does sound like he had the wrong reason for refusing you. If a child of four can be saved (and I believe he can, after all, did not Jesus say "suffer the little children to come unto me"?) then a child of 9 can be baptized and understand what it means and remember it when she's 90.

[TOM]
> ...I feel that if I went for it now, it's simply to do it, not because I really want it. And, like you, I want to want it.

Well, baptism is an ordinance of the church and a command from God. Not a request, a command. It is important to understand what baptism is and what it means before taking that step, but if you have that knowledge and you still put it off because you don't "feel" ready, you're actually disobeying a direct command from God. Do we always *want* to do what God requires of us? I'd be a liar if I said I did, but I still need to obey Him if I want his blessing on my life.

Gri"sermon note-taker"shny