>He has lied about homework, doesn't finish his class work, and never studies for any test unless I make him. Way too much has happened to post all of it , but in a nut shell he just doesn't seem to care.

> He just will not try unless he is pushed, pulled, or dragged every step of the way.

Ooooh . . . seen that! I'm going to attempt to answer you as a teacher, not as a parent, just because my kids are not as old as yours, but I have taught hundreds of students your son's age.

First of all, I would take Dave's suggestion to heart, and have an appointment with your family doctor and/or a psychologist. It could be something as complicated as depression, or it could be something as simple as out-of-control growth hormones, resulting in sleeplessness, restlessness, or just sheer orneriness. *Is* he sleeping? *Is* he eating properly? *Is* he getting any exercise (outside preferably)? Those are all things that can be affecting the amazing changes going on the state of mind and body in a 12-year old.

Secondly, and don't laugh at this - is he in love? It's entirely possible he's so busy concentrating on the fact that the girl of his dreams is busy with another guy that he's unable/unwilling to focus on anything in his life but that. 12-year old hearts fall harder, and are trampled on more, than almost any other age I can think of, and boys are particularly vulnerable, because we don't necessarily expect it from them. I would talk to his teacher(s) about this - they would likely know.

Thirdly, what are his teachers like? Does he have just one, with whom he may have an adversarial relationship? Sometimes it's a personality thing, and can be corrected with a class change. Sometimes the child really is being persecuted, and needs to be removed from the situation.

I hesitate to ask this, but where is his father in this process? If he's unavailable, is there another male figure in his life in whom he can confide? Sometimes it's just that you're a "girl", and are therefore entirely unable to understand *anything* (insert eye-roll here).

Finally, he may just be an insolent, normal 12-year old boy. If so, as koalamom so wisely said, "this too will pass." You will not be able to let him sink or swim on his own - you may even try to, but it likely won't work: involved and caring parents (as you obviously are) are proactive, and unwilling to let go that much!

te (I think I've given you *more* to worry about - sorry!) ach