> If a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a coackroach with a wooden leg to drill a hole in a bar of soap?

If I am going to solve this one by scientific method, I need better information and NO variables.
1. A cockroach has six legs. Which one is wooden?
2. How thick is the bar of soap?
3. What brand of soap is it? (Density of soap varies from brand to brand.)
4. What species of cockroach is it? (Size is the important factor here,)
5. Is it one cockroach or a 1.5 like the chicken?
6. What type of drill is he using? Pick one.
a. electric b.pneumatic c.manual d.other
7. What is the gender of the cockroach? (Is this a cockroach or a henroach? Or am I confusing roaches and chickens?)
8. How much do you pay for this kind of research?
How"can you expect me to work without some kind of rew"ard