> GEMINI
You will acquire a new and cruel nickname when you turn out to resemble a minor character in the upcoming "Star Wars" movie.

I just hope I can live up to the role. My Yoda and drunk Wookie imitations have made me famous-who knows if my Pad'Agabat Syntharum impersonation can be at the same level?

>Be wary of sending all your money to television evangelists.

Is this a prediction or an admonishment? Am I supposed to be wary, or will I BE wary as a result of reading this? I'm guessing the latter, since I prefered long-term mutual funds to begin with.

>Due to the influence of Saturn, you will hurt your foot slightly in May, but this will not affect your bid for the presidency of Spain.

Yes, I can safely say that any future foot accidents will have nothing to do with my decision to (not) run.

Mark"TheOnion.com is my favorite for wacky fortunes"N