>>It is the covert presence of an unequal estimation of female worth and ability to which the feminist (in its original sense) objects.
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> But that idea exists only in the mind of the perceiver. If, by my holding the door, I am performing a simple act of courtesy and not thinking for a moment that you are less capable than I of holding a door, yet you assume that I am attacking your door-holding prowess and demeaning the entire female sex (I'm using a hypothetical "you," by the way), then the problem lies not with my action but with your perception. And, though I agree that it is a good idea to avoid antagonizing others, when we begin to abandon courtesy and kindness because some people may misinterpret and be offended by our gestures, then what does that leave us but not to interact with one another at all?
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Yep, great point, and nope, I don't have a good solution for the dilemma. We need to maintain the practice of courtesy, whether or not good intentions are misinterpreted. It would also be good if we could help change the attitudes of prejudiced people, so that there's less cause for suspicion of the motives behind courtesy. Significant change is bound to be slow in coming, I think.

There's this, too, which I think sums up much of what others have said so far in objection to the P.C. agenda: the issue of courtesy and its motives is not the best battleground for the cause of gender equality. There are much more worthwhile targets than the fellow who "demeans" women by treating them with an overabundance of chivalry, or however one cares to describe it. What about the many, many instances of outright abuse, denial of employment opportunities, inadequate support for mothers, and so forth--problems much more real and tangible than the old-fashioned attitudes that the door-holder is suspected of cherishing?

I guess I'm raising more questions than I'm answering, and I don't especially feel like a fountain of good answers for this whole issue. I do know what I, personally, plan to do:

1) Be an equal-opportunity dispenser of courtesy.
2) Take as seriously as possible the offense that some people feel regarding certain terms, gestures, and so forth. If they feel offended, then whether my intention was to offend or not, it's a good opportunity to apologize graciously and let them feel satisfied at being taken seriously.
3) Take Scripture as my standard, not the P.C. agenda. P.C. doctrine states, "Practice tolerance towards everyone." Scripture commands: "Love your enemies." A Christian should be able to do much better than the bare minimum for expected social behavior.

That's all for now (and it's enough out of me for a good while),

Iss