> > For the last month or so a major supermarket chain has been running adverts focused on the usual "prices dropping down to new levels of amazing cheapness" schtick.
>
> This is shifting the topic just a tad bit, but I feel the urge to rant about how much I hate those obnoxious shouting car dealership radio ads:
>
> I HATE them! Hate 'em, hate 'em, HATE 'EM!!!
>
> These guys raving at top volume about their LOW PRICES and ONE TIME ONLY SALES, screaming at me to HURRY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, consistently occupy the top positions in the list of people whose obnoxious ads make me determined *not* to buy their product. I spit on their advertising strategems. *Ptuo*
[snip]
> Iss "Rants R Us" achar

I agree with you completely on that. I have a few little rants of my own here.

One: Car ads. Why do I need a V-14 engine that can take a 5 ton truck carrying 9 tons of dirt up to 700 MPH or whatever? The car ads show the spedometer rising up to above 100 MPH. WHY???? It's against the law to go above 70 MPH anywhere in America, SO WHY DO I WANT A SUPER POWERFUL CAR???? I want a car that will GET ME THERE! How about this: A V6 Dodge Caravan. Two removeable bench seats, two front seats, A/C, radio+CD player. YOU DONT NEED ANY MORE! You don't need seats that fold down and "vanish", you don't need a PLAYSTATION IN YOUR VAN, you don't need a TV at all. I'm going to sound very "When I was your age...." here, but I've been on many a trip in that Caravan and I didn't need a PS2 in the back seat to keep busy. I brought a book, my CD player, and if all else failed, I TALKED! What happened to talking? Is it just not in style anymore? Or are you only allowed to talk to the other passengers if you use a cell phone? Which brings me to....

Two: (Off-topic, kinda) CELL PHONES. What is this idiotic idea that taking one hand off of the steering wheel of a 2-ton vehicle is going to make it swerve off the road and crash, or that as long as you aren't holding the cell phone, you can keep your mind on the road? Lemme explain something here: YOU CAN NOT MULTITASK. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. You can not concentrate on TWO things at ONCE. YOU ARE NOT A COMPUTER! You do not have a multitasking feature built into your brain! It's not taking your hand off the wheel, it's TALKING. If you're having a coherent discussion with somebody over a cell phone, CB radio, a walkie-talkie, or even if they're right next to you, you can't concentrate on your driving! Have you seen the ads for the "CELL PHONE BOOSTER!"? If you haven't, I'll briefly explain it: They're trying to make people pay 20 bucks for a little piece of shiny foil, that SUPPOSEDLY if it's stuck under the battery on a cell phone will make the reception better. The first stupid "fact" is that it's "like having a four foot antenna on your cell phone". Well, here's news: If you have a four foot antenna, YOUR CELL PHONE WON'T WORK! It's only an inch long for a reason! If you make it longer or shorter, it won't pick up on the right wavelength or whatever. And what's this bit with static? I've been under bridges, in buildings, far away, all sorts of places and I have NEVER had static on my cell phone! I have a sensible cellphone, by the way. It's not a little one-ounce inch square piece of plastic. Instead it's a nice phone-sized hunk of plastic that fits nicely into a purse or pocket and can be comfortably held in the hand. Actually, the size might have something to do with it. How can they cram all this circuitry, the mic, and the speaker into a little three-inch thing? Answer: THEY CAN'T! The reason you can't hear the guy on the other end of the line is because YOUR CELL PHONE SUCKS! Not because you didn't buy the little piece of aluminum foil to go under the battery!

OK, that was nice and off-topic. I'll get back on the on-topic bandwagon with...

Three: ADS in general. Please, please, please tell me why I should buy something because the ad looked good? I haven't bought ANYTHING because I saw it on TV. Especially not computer package deals. (I've got a rant about package deals at my rants page, which I'm adding to very quickly. URL below.) So, why are flashing lights, colors, and jokes going to make me buy stuff? And infomercials - argh. That's a useless thing if I ever saw one. Here's the structure of an infomercial. "Personal Man", who tries to make you identify with him as much as possible, goes on for a few minutes about how horrible it is to use (product) all the time and have to wait hours for (whatever) to (do something). Then he brings in "Amazed Woman". This woman will be amazed by EVERYTHING. Every time Personal Man dumps a box of french fries on a piece of carpet, she will gasp and say "Wow, that'll never come off!" Then, after "Miracle Product" removes it effortlessly, she will gasp again and say "It looks just like new!" PM and AW will continue to "prove" how good Miracle Product is for a few minutes, and then say "Call this number right now." The little blue screen with the phone number, as well as all the other information on use and who to call in an emergency, credit card info, etc appears. And here's the kicker: "Monologue Man" will start REPEATING EVERYTHING THATS ALREADY BEEN SAID with one difference. Every few seconds, he will say "And all you need is to call (number) right now. That's (number). Once again, (number). Call RIGHT NOW!" AND THEN THEY DO IT ALL AGAIN! For an hour! It's pointless, stupid, a waste of TV space. But at midnight, all of TV is taken over by "Paid Presentation", legalese for "Infomercial". It's even more insane than censoring.

And that is all I have to say about that. Hope you had fun wasting time reading my babbling.