Just now, I had finished browsing the message forum and was about to pack in the internet for the night (it does tie up the phone line, after all) when something incredible and terrible happened. My sisters, who were watching Top of the Pops in the other room, called me through there to see...

wait for it...

a new Swedish band called Little Trees performing their new song, "Help! I'm a Fish". No, really, that was its title. The stage act consisted of three quite pretty girls in shiny trousers and barely-adequate tops, wearing sparkly eye-shadow, prancing round the stage in a cloud of bubbles with a person in a large yellow starfish outfit bouncing around in the background. They were singing something along the lines of, "I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea/ Someone has to find a remedy". Have we really sunk to such a level that we can be entertained by this absolute dross? No, wait, it gets worse - they're number 11 in the UK singles chart.

ARE WE OUT OF OUR MINDS!?!?!?

Phil-"Gasp, gasp - haven't ranted like that for ages...someone get me another heart"-bee