> This leads to my first hypothesis: that what is
> bothering me is this very dichotomy that exists
> between "me" and "them." The world of "me"
> consists not only of me, but also of several
> other people; including, now that I think about
> it, every person I call a "friend." There is
> probably something to that. The world
> of "them," on the other hand, consists of
> people I don't understand - people whose
> motives, goals, and attitudes are totally
> inexplicable to me. People who would write on a
> notebook that they haven't purchased after the
> clerk expressly asks them not to. People who
> would ask the same question repeatedly because
> they think maybe on repetition they'd get the
> answer they wanted. People who do not seem
> descended from the strain that ate from the
> tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Darien, as far as I know, you do not have the same faith that I have and you do not hold the same things to be true, but consider this:

There is only one strain of humanity. We're all part of the strain that partook of the tree. Our innocence is tainted. No one has to teach a small child how to disobey his parents, or how to take a toy away from another child and hit him over the head with it. That stuff just comes naturally. We know the difference between good and evil, but we are born with a nature that is inclined to evil, and good has to be learned, taught, instilled in us.

Even when we are taught what is right, that doesn't guarantee we'll do it. Wrong is the easy path; the straightest line between two points. It doesn't matter to people that on the other side of that line is destruction; they can't see that far ahead. Like you said, they don't *want* to see. Because they can be "happy" in their ignorance.

I'm not happy all the time. Happiness is a fleeting thing. I was happy when my son was born, but the first time his newborn screaming woke me up in the middle of the night, my happiness dissolved. Are you sure happiness is what you're really looking for? Perhaps what you really need is joy. Something more permanant; a joy of life that stays with you even through the worst of circumstances. (I know it's all just terms, but I'm using the word "joy" to try to describe an abstract concept.)

I personally believe there's only one way to have that kind of joy in your life, and it's found in the Bible. It worked for me. It can work for you too.

Gri"trying hard not to preach"shny