> On behalf of the staff and graduating students I invite you to be Valedictorian at the upcoming Commencement Excersises to be held at the school on Friday, October 19, 2001.
>
> I was somewhat surprised. I thought that a friend of mine would be Valedictorian for sure.
>
> My parents are excited. I'm scared.
>
> I have to write a speech
>
> Riv"what to say?"ikah

Congratulations!

Here, I've written your speech for you:

"My fellow classmates: Like many of you, I was surprised that I was named your Class Valedictorian. As Valedictorian, I have only two things to do. The first is to write down 'I was Class Valedictorian' on my collegiate applications. The second is to deliver a speech to the graduating class. However, nobody remembers the Valedictorian's speech -- or for that matter, any other speech given during the Commencement Exercises -- so I will end it now.

Thank you."

-Faux "Congratulations again!" Pas