> Since it's been a year and a half since the last RinkWorks contest, I think I'll start one. I wrote a song recently (it's a rough draft, so forgive any levels of suckhood that may lie within it). Like most of the stuff I write, it's nonsensical gibberish I use to mask what I'm trying to say, which completely defeats the purpose of communication. At any rate, the contest is to try to interpret my song. Please explain your interpretation (Don't just say "It's about cars" or something and then expect to win a prize); feel free to be as longwinded as you feel is necessary. I certainly am. The prize categories will be Closest to the Original Meaning and Most Interesting. And maybe some other ones as well if I can think of them. The winners from each category will get balcony seats at the next Sammy awards ceremony.
>
> NOW HEAR SI TEH SONG!!!!!!!!111q
>
>
> Once upon a time I was the king
> Of a very magical land
> With princesses and a castle and even a moat
> And unhappiness was practically banned
> And I treated all my subjects with
> The utmost respect and care
> But when I hid inside my room up above
> IT was like I wasn't even there


I shall be a good guesser, and sound like I know what I am talking about through the whole of this. Do not take any of it to heart, but be confident that it is mindless gibberish meant to entertain. You have been warned. Now I begin translation. BWAHAHAHAHA:

This first verse is about possessing everything you could possibly want and still not having happiness. The speaker "hid" from his kingdom, even though it was described as "magical". Upon retreating to his room, the entire world seemed to disappear, making himself insignificant despite the fact that he is a "king". Seemingly, a world of magic and mystery is not enough to keep away feelings of unhappiness. Perhaps this is also a statement that those things which we assume are important, such as power(being king), property(the castle and moat) and happiness are not really what should be sought.

That he is a king with "princesses" and not a queen suggests that the view of the world is a patriarchal one. Possibly this view is to show that women in society are not as powerful as men. Or perhaps, in opposite, the statement that this world makes the writer feel like they are "not even there" suggests that a patriarchal society is not truly the kind which should exist. Perhaps it is even inferring that the male dominance which exists causes unhappiness in what otherwise would be a fabulous world, "magical" and wondrous.

>> 'Round the turn of the century -- no, not now
> I meant the earlier one --
> There was a train station and a Christmas tree
> And the movies where you'd go to have fun
> And the President spoke from beyond the grave
> And a man in a hat played piano
> And when you rode down the street to fight a nonexistent fire
> You could see my dad's contract in the window
>

This suggests that the song is spoken by someone quite old. That they existed in a past century, and in fact had their father's "contract" in the window at the time suggests that they are probably at least one hundred years old. People that old are rather rare. One thinks more towards Anthropomorphic(sic?) Personifications. Perhaps it refers to the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus(the Christmas tree strongly suggests this), the Tooth Fairy, the Boogeyman, Old Man Trouble or the Teletubbies.

Presidents speaking from beyond the grave makes me think of Night of the Living Dead. Perhaps the verse is suggesting that times were better when everyone went and got high(fighting nonexistant fires) and drove down to the movies to watch people get dismembered. So far, I would say the song seems to suggest a longing for the past, yet a detachment from it. A man in a hat playing the piano directly after the image of a dead president perhaps symbolizes the death of decent music and the oncoming of hard rock, in which a notable hat wearer would be Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit and one band in fact named after dead presidents.

> But then you waited seven hundred years
> So you could fly off to the moon
> With flights leaving in the morning
> At night and in the afternoon
> See the sunken graveyard and the cross-eyed snake
> Or see the modern house of today
> And you could fly in flying saucers but eventually
> They up and flew away
>

This is a definite reference to the Jetsons. There seems to be anger that spaceships are not on regular payrolls toting people off to Mars for spacewalks. Obviously the author is disillusioned by the promises made by television, perhaps calling it the "cross-eyed snake". The Seven hundred year reference possibly refers again to Santa Claus, who is quite wise and possibly invented the Jetsons long before there was even television to taunt people in future generations.

> Later I was drifting on a boat with no sails or oars
> I was surrounded by shrieking little boys and little girls
> Like listening to the tower of Babel, each one politely instructed me
> On the state of our crazy little world
> And the boat makes its way to a quaint little town
> Full of murdering rapists and thieves
> And a little girl who later became famous
> Lived in sticks among the trees
>

I am stumped by this one. It seems to be about the poor state of the educational system at first, with the mention of "drifting" and "shrieking little boys and little girls" but the later mention of "rapists and thieves" could not possibly be in reference to our modern day schools. Also, the children seemed to have some actual knowledge of current events, which is not possible if they had been in American schools.

A girl living in the trees possibly talks about how popular monkeys have become in movies. Just look at Dunston Checks In and Born to Be Wild. Again, the author seems to be talking about a degeneration of life from the olden times, when King Kong was one of few primates in the movies.

> And the circus was in town but it left very quickly
> Taking its Ferris wheel with
> And every house and store, every store and house and store
> Is based off a centuries-old myth
> All the subjects in my kingdom were happy
> And everything was going well
> But then the very worst thing that you can imagine happened
> And from then on things weren't so swell
>

It seems that the "circus" was a brief moment in which the "king" managed to leave his room and find happiness. So, his "kingdom" prospers. Then suddenly it is gone, and his happiness(houses and stores) is gone as well, as if it were a "myth". Again, referencing that something in the past was better than the present. The last lines are simply there to make the reader anticipate the next line.

> When I died
> And they cried

Somehow the writer rose from the grave to write this song. The king is dead, long live the king, apparently.

>
> So right away they built a graveyard for me
> And I'm buried next to I. P. Freely
> There's a man in the house, kind of tall and pale and thin
> I try to talk but all he does is move his head and grin
> And a worker got her head stuck in a ball
> And another woman was killed in a fall
> What's happening here? Where did the ceiling go?
> Hey, look at that guy -- oh no, oh no, oh no
>

Here we get the gruesome details of the writer's resurrection. This possibly also explains the writer's earlier preoccupation with Night of the Living Dead. Maybe in fact he did not die at all. Perhaps he had a bit part in the movie, and is talking about his time on the set.

> And the bears and the bunnies, we resurrected them all
> And we freed the slaves into the waterfall
> Though you'll never see him, that is true
> The man on the train can still see you
> We force the bears to get up, dance, and sing
> And the People for Ethical Animals don't say a thing
> No one really feels like seeing the bears
> If it weren't for the waterfall I'd say nobody cares
>

Apparently the movie set was too much for the cast and they all went out and got high. Often potheads and drunks see animals in their fantasy's such as elephants and bears who "dance" and perhaps "sing" though they do not often do so in reality. The "waterfall" is perhaps the bathroom where they go to get sober afterwards.

> In the north end of the kingdom there is a brand new town
> With gallons of bright paint just dripping all around
> The pied piper took all the mice and every kid
> And apparently this new town is where they all were hid
> A bunny and a lady shun that which is green and fizzy
> A good idea, since it's making my driver get all dizzy
> And we'll ride around on TinkerToys like we don't give a darn
> Just stay away from the house, though, because a mouse is in the barn

A mention to something "green and fizzy" clinches the earlier drug reference. This seems a continuation of the description of the "trip" which began with the other members of the Night of the Living Dead set.

>
> Times have changed and many battles have been fought
> Right now there's a grizzly bear in a parking lot
> The world-famous light bulbs are no longer turned on
> The bus system of the future has already come and gone
> There's another movie theater but this one has color flicks
> And you can ride back to the Orient on a space train just for kicks
> The little famous girl in the tree no longer lives up there
> Instead there's a long-haired youth who likes to surf on air
>

The writer sums up. The Jetsons are a big let down, Santa has conspired against us all, Night of the Living Dead was an awesome movie, the past will never come again, monkeys in movies are not entertaining and "long-haired youths", women or possibly hippies, are "surfing on air" a definite reference to getting high, possibly to escape the "grizzly bear" in the "parking lot" or real life problems which can be as fierce as grizzly bears.

> Once upon a time I was the king
> Of a very magical land
> With princesses and a castle and even a moat
> And unhappiness was practically banned
> And I treated all my subjects with
> The utmost respect and care
> But when I hid inside my room up above
> It was like I wasn't even there
>

Again, a reiteration of the first line to bring together the piece. Highly artistic. Bravo, bravo, for so bravely voicing you opinions on so many issues.

> -Eric "The King" Sleator
> Tue 10 Jul A.D. 2001

Mel"I am so bad... Good thing I don't know what I'm talking about"anie