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> >
> > Viewpoint 1: Romantic trivia in everyday life, such as little spontaneous compliments, saying you love someone, giving them flowers, random hugs and kisses etc, devalue a relationship because it means there's nothing left to say on the occasions when you really *mean* it.
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> Now really, truly, have you *ever* heard *anyone* complain that they hate it when their significant other tells them 'I love you' all the time"? Would you *believe* them if they *did* say that? Or would you think they are really doing a bit of bragging?


Erhm...


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> I think the only way little gestures and gifts could possibly devalue a relationship is if they are not followed up by consistent behavior in the larger context of the relationship. Don't tell me you love me, then see someone else behind my back. Bringing me flowers won't fix that either.


Call me cruel, but the sentence "I love you" can be said in so many ways, ranging from ... well, I don't really care, to where you hold your loved one in your arms, look him/her straight in the eye and whisper "I love you!" in his/her ear. Somewhere in that range, the border between devaluation and strengthening of a relationship.


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> >It's better to be honest and only do these things when the feeling genuinely strikes you that way. It's better to be told you look nice maybe twice a year when you know the person absolutely means it with all their heart, than to be told you look nice on a daily basis when obviously that can't always be true.
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> ...which presupposes that at least a portion of such romantic gestures are lies, or attempts to manipulate?


What if I would like to cheer her up? Even if I don't feel absolutely floating on pink clouds (is that a specific danish expression?) at this particular moment?


As many of you, I have difficulties settling for one point exclusively. Let me say it like this: Nothing which has been said in this thread until now strikes me as wrong.

jul"in love with a *real* coochie-coo!"ian