I wrote two poems this evening in a three-hour time frame. I haven't had a creative flood like that in a long time, but this week's been pretty bad, so it kinda figures I'd have some pent-up emotions to get rid of.

The first poem, "The Fog of Her Mind," is about my grandmother. Yesterday she passed out three times, and only told my mother after the third time. She got rushed to the hospital for blood tests and a CAT scan, and was sent home later the same evening. The doctors said she passed out due to a urinary tract infection, which is what I'm hoping it is. However, the people who looked at the CAT scan were not radiologists, so we're not sure yet whether or not something's wrong with my gramma's brain. I'm praying it's nothing serious, but I'm so worried that I wrote a poem about it. It's talking metaphorically about the CAT scan results and what-not, and anyone who knows my writing style knows I love metaphors. Anyway, yeah...

The second poem, "Imperfect Eggshell Beauty," aside from being one of the most wonderfully-named poems I have ever written, is about my current emotions. I could lie and say it's about "someone I know," but I won't...it's about me. Although I will admit I don't wear mascara. I'll just say it's BASED on me and has a lot of me in it.

So, anywho, here are today's poems for you all to "enjoy." As always, any comments would be highly appreciated.

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"The Fog of Her Mind" Written April 6, 2001; 6:39 pm

Will they be wrong after all?
Said the way is clear...
What if it's not?
Amidst the blackness
Will they find a cloud of gray?
An irregularity in your mind?
I pray for normalcy
I can chase the rainbow
Kiss the rain, and breathe the light
But I can't see into the fog
Someday we'll know what's in there
You think you're perfectly fine
The first seekers weren't experts
What if the ones of knowledge find something?
Is there a black hole in your mind?
I'm scared to see into foggy haze
Please, God, let the fog be fine
Give knowledge to the observers
Etchings of nimbostratus...I fear what's inside
Give us all strength to cry and accept
Let the fog be imaginary
Please rid the brain of blackouts
If the black hole is waiting, what can I do?
Is the eternal life insurance in her?
I need something to ensure wellness
No severed hope to hold
I cherish the sun, embrace the rain, caress the wind
But I can't love away the fog
Don't want the right number announced
I haven't yet begun to know that mind
Spiraling tendrils in a murky sea
Will she still know my name?
God, banish the low-riding clouds
If you don't, I'll wish it were me
A red heart, a kind laugh, a white dove, an hourglass, a kind smile
A pure soul, sun's/Son's return, the rain's kiss, and control
I will try to possess them all
If only to see no hole in the fog
Need a promise of "it's okay" to see me through
For then I will accept what lies beyond...
The fog.



"Imperfect Eggshell Beauty" Written April 6, 2001; 9:38 pm

Mascara running down her face
Strings of hair fall into her eyes
She speaks of her tragical life
Like she knows what a bad day is

Seventeen, all grown up inside
Blackened heart and a child's face
Clings to mem'ries she's never had
Yet somehow managed to create

Delicate butterfly; young girl
With insides made of fragile glass
An imperfect eggshell beauty
Cracked outside and scrambled within

Confiding in everyone near
Yet, somehow, still not being heard
Daring to open herself up
But only she can hear herself

Will she become just what she was
When she had almost left it all
To step back into dark and cold
Would surely cause her to crumble

She wears an armor of sharp thorns
To appear tougher than she is
But feelings can't be camouflaged
So her mascara is running

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Oh, and by the way...the line in "The Fog of Her Mind" that says, "A red heart, a kind laugh, a white dove, an hourglass, a kind smile, a pure soul, sun's/Son's return, the rain's kiss, and control" is (somewhat) symbolically referring to something the majority of you should know.

~Den-"no me gusta escribir muy triste poesias...or something"Kara