It's actually a car story. I was returning from my trip to Bowling Green, KY, (from College Station, TX) in my '69 Ford LTD. That car was The Biggest Car in Brazos County. I probably could park my current car inside that LTD and still have room to sit comfortably. It drove like a tank (8 miles per gallon) and could stop on a dime the size of Kansas. It could go from zero to sixty in 6.2 epochs. And yes, I used it to deliver pizzas.

Anyway, the car broke down in Hope, Arkansas. You know what's in Hope, Arkansas? A mechanic and a bus stop. I got home the next day, getting to spend the night in the Dallas Bus Terminal (Motto: Your Discount Shopping Center for Drugs) because the bus to College Station left about twenty minutes before the bus from Hope got in.

On the bus ride to College Station I discovered so many little towns that had bus stops. We stopped in every single one. It was a long bus trip. By the time I arrived back home, all my friends had graduated from college and moved on.

Then I had to go back two weeks later and pick up the car. (Which, after five or six hours of driving back home, I made a left turn into my driveway and the rock that held the battery in place on the overly-large battery shelf shifted (should've used more duct tape), which caused the battery to slide to the side where the positive terminal came into contact with the metal frame of the car which caused the bolt on the terminal connector to [a] spot weld itself to the frame and [b] melt the connector. The engine said "FWOOSH!" as the terminal connector sublimated into a white waft of smoke and I coasted to a stop.

There was no damage to the car or anyone involved.)

-Faux "I miss that car" Pas